Page 106 of Disturbed Lucidity

“Gladys and I never wanted you to know, Ivy. That’s why we insisted August prescribe you all those meds.”

“August didn’t prescribe them to stop my dissociative identity disorder, did he? Those meds were to stop me from remembering.”

“Please forgive us, Ivy. We only wanted to protect you. You’d suffered so much. Gladys and I feared that if you remembered what happened, it would destroy you.”

I wanted so much to be angry at him, but I couldn’t. I knew the man didn’t have a mean bone in his body. All he cared about was helping others, and, while I needed help, I wasn’t the most receptive person back then.

God, Logic was going to have a fucking field day when I told him this shit. It was bad enough that I had to sit and listen to him drone on and on while he dissected every fucking word that came out of my mouth. But this? He would have me in therapy for the rest of my freaking life.

Which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t a bad thing.

Everyone needed therapy now and then, right?

“I think it did destroy me. Well, some part of me, from what I can remember. It’s still in pieces. Like fractured glass, my mind is still trying to put all the pieces together, but I know something terrible happened. Something that’s still out of reach. I just remember hurting really bad. Not from punishment or anything else, a deep soul pain. I’ve felt nothing like that before. Not even when he took my mother away.”

“Ivy, I can’t—”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to. I think without my meds, my mind is finally ready to show me what I’ve erased for so long. I’m scared. Don’t get me wrong, Padre, I want to know. I need to know.”

“Just know that when you put everything together, you’re not alone. There are people who love you and will do anything to help you. Like that man of yours. Michael told me you’ve tamed the Devil himself.”

I chuckled at that. “I wouldn’t say that. The man’s name is Lucifer for a reason.”

“Only you would find—”

“Would find what?” I smirked when I realized that Father Dominic was no longer beside me. Turning, I saw him standing on the edge of a shadow while he smiled serenely at me. Just then, the streetlight shimmered off a knife that slowly slid across his neck. Blood sprayed across my face. Blinking, I slowly raised my hand as warm, sticky blood dripped down my chin.

I knew what I was seeing.

I just couldn’t get my mind to assimilate it.

This was Father Dominic. The man who cared for me, listened to my first confession, taught me how to play chess. The same man who held me when my nightmares ravaged my body.

My mind screamed at me to run, to flee, to get help, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t leave him. He needed me. He didn’t know this town like I did. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Blinking, I watched his body slowly sink to the sidewalk and the shadow moved.

Stepping out of the darkness, my eyes moved from Father Dominic to the man glaring at me. He grinned evilly when he licked the blood from the knife and that was when I noticed the knife in his hand.

It wasn’t just any knife.

Moving my hand to my side where I should have felt the hilt of my knife, I felt nothing.

Looking back up at the man, he glared menacingly at me.

“Run.”

I did just that.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Ivy

Fight or flight was instinctive.

Although there had been moments in my life when I was willing to confidently hold my position and accept the consequences, this particular situation was not one of those times.

The game of cat and mouse was in play.

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