Page 46 of Sealed in Ink

“He could’ve been happy to be a dad, but…”

“But not necessarily want to be with me?”

Chrissy frowns. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin this for you. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You’re going through a lot right now. Heck, I wish I was there with you.”

“This has been enough, just talking it through, getting some perspective. At least it’s not just eating away at me anymore. I don’t know how I’m ever going to deal with this, though, honestly. It’s all such a tangled mess, and now Cain Cruz hasBradtalking about it like it’s a joke.”

“But he hasn’t heard the real punchline yet,” she says, like she can feel my pain. She knows how close Brad and I are. She’s seen it for years.

“I guess none of this will matter if he doesn’t want to be with me,” I say, unable to keep the spite out of my voice.

Chrissy sighs. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I want him to want me so badly.”

“That’s what scares me. I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s like you’re the saddest, happiest, and maddest you’ve ever been all at once.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much how it feels.”

“So take it slowly,” Chrissy says. “Learn all the facts. There’s no rush. You’ve got months until it shows.”

“Thanks,” I tell her, so grateful for her support. Despite everything, it’s like a black cloud has parted just a little, letting insomesunlight. I’m not going through this alone. That’s something. “Thank you for everything. How’s college?”

“Do youreallywant to talk about college?”

I lean forward, wiping my cheeks. My eyes feel sore and puffy from all the crying. “Yes, actually, I do! I don’t want it to be allme, me, me.”

“Butyou, you, youare the one going through an actual crisis right now. It’s way more eventful than my week.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Chrissy grins. “Okay, don’t blame me when you go nutso with boredom. So there’s this one girl in the introductory class, right?”

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

RUST

“It’s the girl,” Marquis says after the training session once Brad and the other fighters have left. It’s just Marquis and me in his office. He stands, his hands resting on the desk, staring at me, angrier than I’ve ever seen him. He’s actually shaking. “Tell me I’m wrong. Bradley, your best friend, yes? But I see you and her looking at each other and feel it in the air—yes, the tension only a butter knife could slice.Isee it, but he can’t. He can’t think of it. You’re oh-so-tough with Cain Cruz, soangry. Tell me, then.”

“You don’t know what thefuckyou’re talking about,” I roar, and Marquis steps back, his hands raised, looking so shocked I almost laugh, but it’s not funny. It’s just sad.

“What’s happened to you? Where is all thisrage?”

“You’re pissed, too, Marquis,” I snap.

“Yes, but I am always pissed. That is usual for me. You are ice, No Rust. A monk.”

“Yeah, well…” I sit down and bury my head in my hands. “Maybe she’s changed me.”

“MaybeMaryhas changed you?” Marquis says, sitting opposite me.

I lean back, knowing I shouldn’t tell him, but keeping a lie inside feels wrong. It feels twisted. “Yes,” I say, releasing a shaky breath, almost a month’s worth of tension. “It was…”

“The trip,” Marquis says. “Something happened. I knew it.”

“I didn’t plan for it,” I say. “I just… Hell, when I’m around her, I can’t think.”

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