Page 161 of Damaged Protector

He shook his head. “Trust me. The CIA couldn’t find the… thingy.” His lips crooked up on one side. “Tank is the best.”

After a pause, Starla typed back: Who is this?

Giggling, I added another message: Starlaaaaaaa!

We saw her mouth, “What the fuck?” before her fingers began moving rapidly across the keyboard. Her scowl deepened with each passing second. She was obviously looking for the source of the pop up box.

Hawk slid my laptop in front of himself and flashed me an evil grin. “Let me show you how to really fuck with someone.”

He typed: Whatever you do, don’t look behind you.

“Oooh, you are good,” I hissed.

My roommate’s eyes almost popped out of her head before they shifted from side to side like she wanted to look behind her but was too scared.

Then Hawk added a series of messages: Not that you’d be able to see me.

But can you feel me?

I know you can.

I can feel you.

“Hawk, that’s diabolical,” I crowed gleefully, watching as Starla slammed the lid of her laptop down and scrambled off the bed, looking at it like it was a snake. Her head whipped side to side, searching thin air before she poked Donner to wake him up.

“Dammit, I wish I’d put a camera with audio,” Hawk lamented. “I’d love to hear this.”

After listening to Starla for a minute, Donner sat up, rolled his eyes, and opened the computer.

Hawk chuckled and typed: Hello, Blitzen.

“Oh my god,” I giggled. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

Donner frowned and messaged back: Fuck you.

Hawk’s grin was pure evil as his fingers moved across the keys.

Maybe I’ll fuck you later. Would you like that?

The idiot on-screen reared his head back in shock, as the man next to me continued.

Starla couldn’t see me. Can you?

The reply came quickly: Who the fuck is this?

Hawk pounded out: Your worst fucking nightmare. I’m just to your right. Can you hear what I’m whispering in your ear?

Donner frantically swatted at his ear like he could actually feel something there, and I was almost doubled over with laughter.

“Ooh, I have an idea,” I said, taking the laptop back and formulating a message: Not everyone can see me, Rudolph. Men with small penises aren’t able to visualize me.

Hawk laughed and gave me a high five as Donner closed the computer and stuffed it underneath the bed.

“Good one, Bee. If you still want to mess with her once you’re gone, you can continue to use this program until she freaks out and buys another computer.”

I lifted my coffee cup, and my favorite person in the world did the same, clinking it with mine as I said, “To fucking with the fuckers.”

“Hear, hear, Bee. Now finish your drink so we can get ready for Phase Two.”

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