Page 109 of Damaged Protector

I’m such a liar.

Coconut trotted over on her short little legs and looked up at me with plaintive blue eyes before letting out the saddest mew ever. I picked her up and cuddled her into my neck.

“Awww, poor baby. Did you miss me?” She purred in response, and my frayed nerves settled just a bit. There was nothing like a tiny kitty motor to soothe a person.

I settled on the couch and gave her all the attention she needed—kisses, strokes, ear scratches—and when she was satisfied, she curled up on my lap and went to sleep.

My mind drifted back to Hawk. I’d caught glimpses of the two brunettes near him all day, but knowing he had a hotel room all to himself brought on a rush of emotions I hadn’t expected. Or wanted.

We were casual, right? We hadn’t really discussed where this was headed because we both already knew. I was moving out in a little over a month, and then we would go our separate ways.

We’d occasionally see each other if I went to one of their functions with Cam, but I imagined we would just smile at each other as we both thought of the sexy memories we made together this summer.

The problem? We were so different. Casual or not, I couldn’t imagine letting another man touch me while I was having… relations or whatever you wanted to call it, with Hawk. But he was different, definitely not the monogamous type.

I was aware of that going in, but the idea of him fucking random chicks was disturbing. How would they do it? I’d read one why choose book, but that was with three guys and a girl. Three holes and three penises… I got that. Two girls and a guy though?

My mind took me to a place I’d rather not visit, with Hawk lying on a hotel bed, the lighting dim, one woman riding his thick, pierced cock and the other riding his bearded face. Their big boobs—which he apparently likes, according to Bode—bouncing.

Hawk was the most virile man I’d ever met, so I knew he’d have no problem handling more than one woman. Sadness flooded through me. I wasn’t sure I could take our sexual relationship any further if I knew he was screwing other women at the same time.

The ringing of my phone startled me, and I reached for my backpack and pulled it out to see my dad’s name on the screen. That made me smile.

“Hey, Daddy.”

“Hey, sweetheart. How did your book thing go today?”

“It was good. My friend Megan went with me, and I also hung out with the wives of some of Cam’s friends. They’re so sweet and welcoming.”

I could hear the happiness in his voice. “I’m glad, Mal. And how are things with your roommate? Hawk, right?”

Wincing at his name, I forced a cheeriness into my tone. “Great! He’s made it his mission to feed me ice cream sundaes since he found out I’d never had one before.”

There was silence for a beat. “Never?”

“No, Daddy. Mama wouldn’t let me have ice cream, not even at birthday parties when the rest of my friends were having it. I was allowed a tiny sliver of cake, but that’s all.”

“Ah, hell, baby.” I could imagine him rubbing his hand down his face. “She really controlled you, didn’t she?”

Tears welled in my eyes, but I tried not to let him hear them in my voice. “She did, but I’m speaking to a counselor regularly. She’s really helped me a lot with establishing my boundaries.”

“If I’d only been home more… I didn’t realize, baby.”

“Don’t blame yourself. Please don’t. I thought it was normal until…” Until she didn’t believe I was almost sexually assaulted. Or didn’t care. I pushed that thought aside and finished with, “Until I grew up a bit.”

“Do you need money for the counselor? I happen to have some extra lying around since my daughter got a grant for her full tuition.” The pride in his tone warmed me, and I swiped away the tears rimming my eyelids.

“No, it’s free, but thank you.” An idea struck me. “Why don’t you use that money to take Mama somewhere? Like a vacation. Merrit—that’s my counselor—said the best way to help her cut the apron strings is for her to get involved in other activities. To find a focus other than me.”

“Well, huh.” I could hear his brain working. “Some of your mom’s crafting friends and their husbands are going on a cruise, and they invited us…”

“You should go,” I said immediately.

“But it’s in December, Mal. During your Christmas break.”

Hearing that, my heart and brain were in conflict, but I allowed my brain to win. “It’s okay, Dad. We can video chat, and I can fly up there for a week or so before or after. I want you to go.”

“But what about you?”

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