Page 36 of (Not Really) Faking It With My Best Friend's Brother

Emily sighed, her shoulders dropping slightly as she searched my face. "I just want you to be sure, Susan. I've seen how Nate is with relationships. He keeps things casual and doesn't like to be tied down. Or at least that’s how he has been in the past. And you...you’re different. You’re my best friend, and if this ends badly...”

She trailed off, her words hanging in the air like an unspoken warning. I reached out and squeezed her hand, offering a small smile despite the unease swirling within me.

"I know you're looking out for me," I whispered, my voice filled with gratitude for her sisterly concern. "But Nate and I, we just...connected. Those quiet moments in the park, talking for hours..." My mind drifted back to the first time he had taken my hand in his. "It was real."

Emily still looked uncertain. “Real for now, maybe. But Nate has always shied away from anything serious, and leopards don't change their spots. He always ends up getting tied up with his work again. I don’t want this to be some short-lived fling, and then you’re left picking up the pieces of your heart. It would put me in a very difficult situation. ”

I nodded. She had a point, and Nate and I had rushed into this quickly. Were we ready for the next step?

"You're right," I said finally. "We have been moving fast, caught up in the excitement. Maybe some space would be good—time for both of us to think things through."

Emily's expression softened. She stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. "I'm not saying end things completely. Just...be smart. Don't hand over your heart so easily. And I’d prefer that you not tell Nate that I said this. I love him more than anything. He’s a great brother. He just hasn’t been the best in the romance department."

I hugged her back, comforted by her concern even as doubts swirled. She was only looking out for me, but part of me worried she didn't fully understand how Nate made me feel. I just hoped I wasn't making a mistake asking for distance when what I really wanted to do was snuggle up to him like a koala on a eucalyptus tree.

I didn’t have time to dwell on it right then. Storytime was in ten minutes, and I needed to get focused. I told Emily goodbye and put all my mental energy into finding my happy place. I took a deep breath and turned to tidy up the children's section, hoping the bright colors and whimsy would lift my spirits.

As I finished tidying up, a group of young children burst into the library, chattering excitedly about storytime. Their enthusiasm helped shake me from my melancholy mood, and I put on a bright smile.

"Who's ready for some stories?" I asked, my voice brimming with energy. A chorus of 'me, me!' erupted as the kids scrambled to grab pillows and snuggle up on the rug.

I settled into the oversized armchair, opening up The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I tried to infuse my voice with dramatic flair as I read, but my thoughts kept wandering back to Nate. I caught myself losing my place in the story, having to reread passages. The kids didn't seem to notice, giggling and oohing over the caterpillar eating through all kinds of foods.

After we finished, parents started to gather up their children, ushering them towards the door with reminders to say thank you. I smiled and waved as each one stopped to give me a high-five on their way out.

Once the library had quieted, Frances poked her head out of the back room.

"Great storytime as always," she said brightly. "I've got to run some errands, but I will see you tomorrow."

I nodded, watching as she gathered her things and headed out, the door swinging closed behind her.

As I organized books, my thoughts drifted back to Tiffany's words when she confronted me at the grocery store after the festival interaction. I never told Nate about it. Tiffany seemed so smug, convinced that Nate would never fall for someone like me.

"It's just a matter of time before he gets bored playing house and moves on," she had sneered. "No matter what he says, you two are from different worlds."

At the time, I had brushed off her words as baseless jealousy or bitterness. But now, in the harsh light of day, I couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to them. Nate and I had been thrown together by chance - would he have called me back otherwise? Did he see me as someone he could share his life with, or was I just a convenient escape from dealing with Tiffany?

My insecurities threatened to swallow me whole. I knew Nate cared about me, but he had hardly noticed me when we were younger. I was all googly eyes, and he didn’t even give me a second look. I tried to push down the sinking feeling in my stomach. Emily had meant well, but her skepticism about Nate had planted seeds of doubt in my mind that I couldn't seem to shake.

My fingers hovered over my phone, contemplating whether to send the text I had drafted, asking for space. My heart wavered between the desire to talk to Nate, to hear his reassurances that our love was real, and the fear of being hurt or losing Emily's friendship.

With a deep breath, I pressed send before I could second-guess myself. My heart pounded as the message flew into the cyber abyss, and then it hit me. I'd just asked the man I was falling in love with if we could take a break. If a light had been shed on anything, it was that I was a hot mess of tangled feelings. Maybe I just needed to take a week off.

All I could do at that moment was hope that Nate would understand, that he would give me the time and space I needed. I longed for us to find our way through this storm of doubt together, to emerge on the other side stronger than ever. But there was also the nagging possibility that his head might be spinning so fast from the conflicting signals that it would spin right off his shoulders. Talk about being caught up in a whirlwind of confusion!

Baxter padded over, tail wagging tentatively. I scratched behind his floppy ears.

"Oh, Baxter, why is love so complicated?" I sighed. His liquid brown eyes stared up at me with a mixture of understanding and unconditional love.

Sinking back into the comfort of the armchair, I let out a weary sigh. Despite my best efforts to stay focused, thoughts of Nate continued to pull at my heartstrings.

My phone buzzed with Nate's incoming reply. I hesitated before opening it, afraid of what it might say. Would he be upset? Confused? Relieved for the space?

I took a deep breath and read his message:

"I understand you need time to think things through. Just know that you mean the world to me, Susan.

Whatever your doubts or concerns, I'm here when you're ready to talk it out.

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