Page 134 of The World Undone

I’d tried checking on Levi too a few times when things calmed down, but no one had seen him since their return.

Stopping where the path closed into the woods, I bent over, the heaviness of everything suddenly loud and undeniable when faced with the stillness of the morning.

Maybe Dec was right. I’d been throwing myself into tackling so many issues, helping as many people as I could after our missions, that it was all just building up—becoming overwhelming.

I pressed my palm into my sternum and took a deep breath, reaching for the bonds, grateful that I could feel them all there—even though it hurt, even though it brought back the edges of my own grief I’d only just managed to fold into myself—a quiet, but ever-present echo.

Go. Declan’s voice filtered into my thoughts, pulling them back from the dark cliff they balanced on. I promise we’ll be okay here for a few hours. That hellhound needs a run and he won’t leave your side. Eli’s okay. Wade and Atlas are okay. Darius is…well, Darius—which I never thought I’d say is a fucking relief. I’ll hold things down while you’re away and I’ll be here when you get back.

I took a deep breath, nodding to myself, then pushed the connection away, as she’d asked.

She was right. We all just needed some space.

This afternoon, we were going to regroup, go over mission debriefs and make a plan for next steps. There were two council members left, and while I had no fucking clue where they’d be hiding, I knew that they were the key to getting the stone—so that’s where we’d start.

Ralph’s paws crunched in the sparse patches of snow as he slowed his stride to match mine.

I buried my hand in his thick fur, drawing strength from his steady presence. She wasn’t wrong. He hadn’t stopped patrolling our cabin, herding us all together throughout the chaos of the last few days. We didn’t really have the space for six adults and a giant hellhound in the cabin, but none of us would turn him away. He brought a warmth to our team, made the space feel more homey and lived in.

He’d been a silent companion, a beacon of comfort and warmth I hadn’t realized how much we’d all needed.

Hell, Darius had even stopped threatening to toss Shadow out into the snow once he realized that Ralph now considered her part of his pack.

The cold dawn breeze fluttered through his fur and turned his breaths into soft clouds of smoke, making him appear more hellhound-like than usual.

We stood there for a while, the two of us taking in the sights of the lake from the periphery.

Charlie was on the dock, leaning into Mer as her shoulders shook with soft sobs.

My vision went hazy from witnessing her pain.

Since our return I couldn’t bring myself to speak more than a few words to her, to comfort her. I wasn’t sure what my place was with a cousin I’d only just learned was family and I didn’t know how to ease a hurt that I knew only too well couldn’t be eased.

Partially because I knew that it was my fault, at least to some degree. Charlie and Bishop’s child would grow up fatherless because of a mission I’d helped orchestrate.

But also because her grief was the sort that hollowed out my chest in an unfamiliar way, one that made me feel nauseated if I let myself linger in it too long.

She’d lost her partner.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like losing one of mine.

I’d be putting them all through the same agony one day.

The realization lodged heavy and icy in my gut, curling its blade-like fingers over my ribs and squeezing tight. Looking at her was like looking at a premonition of what they’d go through.

Soon, probably.

Though not as soon as we’d planned. I was both grateful and ashamed of that.

All this pain, and it was all for nothing. We’d lost two members of this community and we were no closer to finding the stone.

The only thread we had to hold onto was the fact that there were only two council members left.

Of course, without Evelyn’s intel, we had no way of finding them, no way of tracking down where they might be hiding the stone.

It was a thought spiral I slid down on an infinite loop whenever the grief bled into rage.

Ralph’s head nudged me as a small whisper-bark brought me back from the edge.