Page 71 of The World Undone

Bile rose up my throat at the thought. I should’ve checked on them, but after everything with Seamus and Greta, and training my team, Sarah and the others had slipped past. Maybe I would’ve seen? Would’ve caught something? Maybe my healing magic would have finally worked this time.

I’d given so much of it to Sarah, to Atlas. Guilt rankled, lodged in my throat, that I hadn’t made more of an effort with the others. Even though I knew that my connections to them were nonexistent, that my powers would have worked even less than they had with Sarah, who I’d at least known.

“And Sarah?” I asked, my voice little more than a cracked whisper.

“No changes, but maybe,” she winced, like she was trying to soften the blow, “maybe your healing has helped hold it off some. Maybe she has more time because of you.”

I swiped my cheeks with my sleeve as Izzy averted her gaze. “I should be better at this.”

I didn’t bother keeping the frustration and shame out of my voice.

“No,” Izzy’s fingers tugged my chin until I was facing her again. “You’re doing everything you can, Max. We all are. We aren’t responsible for their deaths, and we’ll find a way to save Sarah before it’s too late. I know we will.”

I needed to save Sarah.

More than I needed to do anything else.

I couldn’t voice the reasons why, couldn’t tell Izzy that I needed Sarah to be there for my team when I wasn’t. That she was the person I was counting on to lessen the blow. Not a perfect replacement, but someone they loved, someone who loved them back. And maybe, one day, the bonds between her, Atlas, and Wade would come back. We knew so little about bonds—forged or natural. It was possible they would be able to find that wholeness—that fullness—again. I had to believe that I wasn’t their last opportunity at finding that kind of connection and belonging. Not when, after everything, it would be so short-lived.

And it was the one thing that would make it easier to do what I had to do. I needed to save her for them. They couldn’t lose her again. I didn’t want any of them to lose anyone ever again, as impossible a request as it was to make of the universe and whatever gods were listening—assuming gods even existed at all. If they did, they hardly seemed to care.

“Ro’s with her,” Izzy continued, her posture straightening some as she squeezed my hand in hers, like she could tell I was barely holding it together and was trying to carry some of the weight for me.

It was ridiculous considering she hadn’t slept. I was the one who should’ve been helping her hold that burden, not the other way around.

“We’re going to have her watched 24/7 from now on,” she continued. “And after what happened with Greta yesterday, literally half the community here has been clamoring to volunteer in the med ward, to help.” A smile brightened the curves of her face. “They’re really something here, aren’t they? No dead weight. Everyone really seems to want to help, to make this place a safe haven, a community.” She snorted. “If I’d had any idea this place existed before, I’d have ditched The Guild ages ago.

“Happy surprise though, it turns out a lot of the people we rescued from The Guild have a pretty good knowledge about medicine too—especially when it comes to some of the supernatural beings we’re less familiar with.” She took a deep breath, then shook her head, as if she felt her thoughts wandering. “I’m sorry I burst in here like this, that was a shitty way to wake you up, especially when you’ve hardly been sleeping. I just had it in my head that I needed to tell you, and that I needed to tell you immediately. I wasn’t in my right mind, wasn’t thinking. You’re already carrying so much. I’m sorry.”

Ralph’s feet started kicking, like he was chasing a rabbit—or whatever equivalent creature hellhounds chased, maybe people, who could say—until he jolted himself awake.

Shadow hopped off, light as a feather, and ran back through the cracked door to Darius’s room.

I gave Izzy’s hand another squeeze and shook my head. “No, I’m glad you did. I need to meet with Bishop and the others, so I’m not sure when I’d have found my way to the med building to even learn about it all. Just keep me updated, okay? Any changes, I want to know immediately, yeah? No matter what time of day or night.”

Ralph wandered over to us, his giant head nuzzling into Izzy’s neck in greeting.

She giggled as she scratched behind his giant ears, her voice muffled through his fur. “Good to see you again too, you old brute.”

Darius let out a sharp sound that could only be described as a squeal, followed by a barrage of curses.

Shadow came scampering back into the living room area, huddling behind Ralph and looking pleased as punch with herself.

“I can’t decide if it’s adorable or ridiculous that he’s so terrified of an innocent little kitten,” Izzy said.

I grunted in agreement as Shadow circled between my legs.

“But yes, deal. Day or night, I won’t hesitate to come get you.” She winked, a teasing smile cracking through some of the fatigue on her face. “Maybe next time I’ll get a better peek at what your hot, creepy vampire is packing underneath those blankets. Something tells me it’s glorious.”

It was.

He was.

And when she poked my cheek, I could feel the heat of my blush giving that much away.

“It might be a long shot.” Bishop scrubbed his hand over his face. Judging by the dark circles that had somehow grown darker than they already were yesterday, he’d gotten even less sleep than I did. In fact, I was now solidly convinced that no one in The Lodge was sleeping these days. Maybe that was a requirement or necessary condition of war, of an impending apocalypse. “But it will solve the problem of alerting them to our presence, so I think it will be worth considering.”

We were back in the room that Charlie and Bishop used to host their community council meetings. My attention was rapt on Bishop, my fingers tense around the arms of the chair, waiting for him to tell us our plan. We’d been in such a standstill about how to approach the three council members that Evelyn knew how to locate.

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