Page 1 of Sinful Secrets

Prologue

“Get the fuck out of my way, boy!” he roars as he stumbles towards me.

“But, Pa, I was just trying to tidy up,” I defend. He grabs me by the scruff of the neck, pinning me to the wall.

He leans in close, his alcohol breath blowing across my face. “You were interfering. You think you’re better than this life and what I give you. You’re always complaining about shit… it’s too cold, you’re hungry, your clothes don’t fit,” he says in a whiny voice. “I’m doing my goddamn best, but you’re just like your mother, thinking you’re better than this life,” he snarls. He rears his hand back and I know what’s coming. His hand connects with my face, making my head whip to the side. He lets me go and I fall to the floor, holding my cheek.

“Piece of shit, no wonder your mother left,” he spits before walking off back to his lounge chair and opening up a fresh can of beer.

I don’t fight back; I don’t argue. I get up quietly and go to the bathroom, looking in the filthy mirror at the latest mark on my face.

“Four years,” I whisper to myself. I only have four years until I’m sixteen and can move out of here and join the army. I vowed to myself that as soon as I was old enough, I would leave, I would join the army and learn how to fight back, learn how to defend myself. Never again would I let anyone walk all over me. I would never end up like my Pa.

Mom left us three years ago. I woke up one morning and she was gone, and we haven’t seen her since. I hate her even more than I hate Pa. He will never change and he will always be like this. She left me to live in this life, to live with him. A mother should protect their child, I have seen it with some of the other kids in the park. Their Moms take care of them, hug them when they fall, wipe away the dirt on their faces and feed them.

Walking out of the bathroom, I head out the door, leaving our trailer to go to sit in the far corner of the trailer park. I climb on the back of an old truck that has just been dumped and sit down, pulling out the only book I own, the only thing I have to escape, Charlie and the Chocolate factory. I found it on the ground outside the library a year ago, and no one was looking so I picked it up. Since then, I read it every time I feel the need to escape. I'm sat––minding my own business––reading, until Randy and his brothers come over and stand in front of me. I look up at him, he’s two years older than me and probably has fifty pounds more in weight.

“What do you want now, Randy?” I sigh.

“Who says I want anything?” He shrugs.

“Because you’ve come up to me. Or do you want a picture?” I answer back, posing sarcastically. I may be twelve years old, I may be scrawny, but I have learnt to stand up for myself.

Randy clenches his fists. “You mocking me, runt?”

I look up at him and roll my eyes. “Me? No. Never,” I mock. It takes him a moment to realise I am in fact mocking him, and he reaches out, snatching my book from my hands.

“Ooo, seems Rusty thinks he is too smart for us, just because he reads,” he taunts, waving my book around.

I jump down from the truck. “Give me back my book,” I growl, standing toe to toe with him, looking up at him.

He smirks. “Oh, does little Rusty love his little book?” he says and starts to tear the pages out above me as I jump up to try and stop him. He laughs with his brothers. Tears sting my eyes, and I clench my fist in anger. I rear back and punch him hard in the gut. He drops the book, but I just keep hitting him until his brothers grab me, pinning my arms back. Randy doubles over, holding his stomach and looks to me. “You hit like a weak-ass girl,” he wheezes.

He’s lying. I know I can hit, I learnt how to hit from my Pa. “If I hit like a girl, why are you holding your gut? Pussy,” I taunt. I shouldn’t, I know that, but as my Pa always tells me, I just never know when to shut up.

He charges at me, his fist connects with my jaw, and he doesn’t stop as his brothers hold me down. I don’t cry, I don’t beg for them to stop. I survived worse from my Pa, so I just close my eyes and wait for it to be over.

I learnt from a young age that if people find a weakness, see that you care or love someone or something, they will use it against you. I loved and trusted my Ma, and she left me. Pa then used it against me. Randy saw I cared for that book, and he used that. I vowed never to let anyone see my weaknesses, because if I don’t care, if I don’t love anyone, then no one can hurt me.

Chapter One

Khan

I stretch out and groan, my head pounding. I reach for the nightstand, grabbing my cell to see what the time is. It’s near midday. “Fuck.” I sigh.

“Shh, baby, I’m sleeping,” a girl moans from beside me. I turn around and frown, looking at her.

“Candy?” I ask.

She huffs and sits up. “I'm Tammy-lee.” She pouts.

“My bad, darlin’, anyway thanks for last night, time for you to go.” I gesture to the door. I get up, not giving a shit that I am butt-ass naked. Hell, from the flash backs of last night, I'm pretty damn sure I was balls deep in her mouth.

“What? Are you serious? But I thought what we had was special?” she whines, her voice like nails down a chalk board.

“Tamsin, listen––”

She interrupts me. “It’s Tammy-lee,” she snaps.

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