Page 19 of Sinful Secrets

He walks towards me and moves stuff off the table, perching down on it in front of me, my legs between his. He strokes my hair from my face. “Darlin’, what you want, what you need, I can’t give you.”

“Then tell me what it is you can’t give me,” I say quietly.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment.

“I can’t give you a relationship, I can’t make love to you. I don’t do that, Bambi. I fuck, I take what I need, I use women for pleasure and that’s it. No emotions involved, no relationship.”

“So, you don’t like women?” I ask, confused.

He smiles. “Oh, darlin’, I love women. I worship them. I just know I could never love a woman. I could never allow myself to be that exposed to one person. Do you understand what I'm saying?” he asks.

I nod my head and take a deep breath at the pain in my chest, the disappointment. But I understand, I said it earlier, the women he has been with, the women he wants.

“Yes, I understand. You want a woman like that one that came the other day, you want a woman that can give you all those things without a, er, connection… Am I right?” I ask and he nods. “I am learning to live without my God, to live an entirely new life. I am learning new things every day. I don’t know if I could bring myself to be like one of your women,” I admit, feeling deflated.

He sighs, leaning his forehead on mine. “I'm sorry, Bambi, I don’t think I can get past this,” he whispers.

“You may not be able to, but I might,” I say hesitantly, staring into his deep blue eyes. He creates feelings in me, and I want to explore those. But maybe I've been going the wrong way about this? Maybe I don’t have feelings for him, maybe it’s just urges? Maybe its desire that he stirs within me?

“You don’t mean that,” he retorts.

“I do and I am learning. I’ve learnt that the life I came from was not how life should be. I have learnt so many new things, amazing things, and now I am trying to understand all these new feelings… feelings that only happen when you are near. Maybe you should be the one I explore these feelings with?” I pause as he looks away. “You could teach me,” I whisper.

His gaze snaps back to mine and the mood suddenly shifts between us as our breaths mingle; I lick my dry lips. He edges his mouth closer to mine, my heart nearly beating out of my chest. From nowhere, I get this urge to close the gap, the need to feel his lips on mine again, even if this will be the only time. My mouth crashes onto his and it takes him by surprise for a moment, but soon he leans in, his tongue sweeping across mine. I grip his shirt in my hands as he deepens the kiss, moving me backwards and laying me down on the couch. It feels incredible, this feeling is like no other, the feeling of his hard body against mine. I move my leg over his hip and gasp.

Khan smiles. “Yeah, darlin’, that is what you do to me.” He continues kissing my neck, his hand moving up my thigh. He rolls his hips, causing a friction, a pleasure like I've never known.

The feeling building in me is too much, it’s intense, it’s too much and I feel myself begin to panic. “Khan,” I whisper. He just moans, still moving, still causing friction, and the feeling intensifies. “Khan, please,” I beg.

“I got you, darlin’,” he states, not even paying attention, pulling my top-down, freeing my breasts and taking my nipple in his mouth. That feeling doesn’t just increase, it explodes throughout my entire body and I cry out. It feels so good but strange, and I don’t know how to handle it.

Panicking, I push at his chest. “Khan, get off, please.” He pushes himself up slightly, a confused look on his face. I push further so I can get up and I move to the kitchen sink and splash cold water on myself.

“Shit, Bambi, I shouldn't have done that. I… Fuck.” He sighs.

I turn around. “It is fine. I… I got scared and that feeling… it took over my entire body. I didn’t know what was happening,” I confess.

Khan doesn’t say anything, he just gets up and walks towards me, tucking my hair behind my ear and smiling. “Bambi, that was an orgasm. It’s a good thing, believe me. If I wasn’t being so selfish, I would have taken care of you and made sure you didn’t freak out.”

“What happens now, Khan?” I ask, looking into his eyes for answers.

“If this is what you want then, Bambi, if you're ready, I will take you in that bedroom and blow your fucking mind. But if it’s not and you’ve changed your mind then that’s okay too.”

I pause for a moment and swallow, nerves building inside of me.

“Bambi, there’s no pressure, but I am stood here with an incredibly hard dick and either way I need to take care of it.” He winks.

I don’t say anything, I just look down at the bulge in his jeans and swallow, the nerves kicking in further.

Chapter Twelve

Khan

I watch as she battles with her decision, my dick painfully hard and pressing so hard against my zipper that I'm surprised he's not broken through.

Feeling her underneath me on the couch, how she came apart, her noises… Fuck. I need to find a release soon, but I can see her nerves are building.

“Bambi, I've got an idea, if you trust me.” She pauses and looks to me for a moment. She nods and smiles. I take her hand in mine and lead her to the bedroom. “Take your clothes off and lay on the bed,” I instruct. She does as I've asked, and fuck, seeing her body… I've grown harder. I stand at the foot of the bed, her eyes following my every movement. I remove my T-shirt and throw it on the floor, then my jeans and boxers. I stand before her, naked, and her eyes widen at the sight of my dick. I can’t hide my smirk. It’s the reaction I usually get. I'm big and most women think I'm all talk until they see I can back up what I fucking promise.

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