Page 30 of Sinful Secrets

Asher stands, smiling. “I think I'm going to enjoy cleansing you of your sins, Talitha. I saw the way you looked at him, I know you're with them. I'm not stupid and neither is Father Isiah.” He smiles. I ignore him and stare past him. His hand rears back and he hits me clean across the face. I feel my lip split and the taste of blood fills my mouth. “You will always look at me when I am talking to you, you will respect me. You will respect the order!” he yells.

My vision blurs a little as I watch him turn and leave. Not saying another word, he shuts and locks the door, leaving me there. I try and wonder what they have planned for me, but then I shut down those thoughts, I’d rather not. Whatever it may be, I pray that I black out before it escalates.

Chapter Eighteen

Talitha

I'm not sure how long I have been here. The sun has gone down, so I know it’s been hours. My wrists hurt and my body aches. The door opens and in walks Father Isaiah, Brother Asher and my Father.

“Father.” I sigh, relieved to see him. They all move towards me, not saying a word. I notice Asher is holding the ‘Cat.’ Father Isiah walks toward me and strokes my face, his hand running down my body to between my legs. My eyes go wide.

“I wonder if you are still pure? Are you, Talitha?” he asks. I don’t answer him, and without warning, he inserts his finger painfully inside me. I cry out. He removes his finger, holding it up, and his eyes look at me with disgust. “Harlot,” he hisses.

Tears sting my eyes and Asher smiles, stepping forward. “You see, Brother Asher has the cat-o’-nine-tails. Now, he was going to give you just ten, but now… now we know they have taken your purity… well, that’s a whole other cleansing ritual,” he adds.

“But I didn’t give it to them,” I desperately lie. “Father, please…” I beg my own father, but he just shakes his head and looks away.

“My child, of course you didn’t, but they still took it. It is God’s wish that we make it right. And that is what we will do. Asher, twenty lashings,” he orders with a flick of his wrist as he turns and leaves.

“For our father,” Asher says as he begins lashing. The moment it hits my skin, I cry out at the feeling of my flesh burning across my chest and my stomach. I don’t get a chance to catch my breath as its soon slicing across my skin again. I scream, I beg, I cry, but it doesn’t stop. It feels like my flesh is being ripped from me, like it’s on fire. I pray to pass out, but I don’t. I feel every lashing, I feel it all.

“There, Talitha.” Asher pants. “I shall be by tomorrow to continue your cleansing,” he states before leaving me hanging there, naked, cut and in excruciating pain.

* * *

The next morning, one of the sisters comes in and feeds me bread and water. She doesn’t look me in the eye, she keeps her head bowed. I whimper when I try and move, every muscle in my body hurting, my entire front burning in pain.

The door opens and my eyes go wide, panicked. I can’t face anymore, I can’t. Two women walk in and unlock my restraints, and I fall to the floor, unable to hold myself up. I cry out as they drape a robe over me and help me stand and walk to wherever they are taking me, one either side holding me up. They lead me to a bathroom, and Asher is stood there, waiting.

“Thank you, sisters, please help Talitha into the tub,” he instructs and they do as they are told. I manage to get in and they help lower me. As soon as the water hits one of my wounds, a searing pain shoots through me. I scream and try to get out but both women are holding me in, pushing me deeper into the water and the pain is unbearable.

“No, please!” I scream, begging the women, pleading to them. Asher approaches the tub.

“You are having a salt bath, Talitha, to cleanse you. You are to stay in there until I order otherwise,” he states.

My throat is sore and my screams have become hoarse, I cannot fight, my body is too weak, I give up. Asher orders them to take me out of the bath, and I can barely stand. “Talitha, you are now cleansed. Sisters, take her to her room and dress her,” he orders.

Once inside my room––although it’s more like a cell––they help dress me, and every touch of the fabric against my injured skin feels like razor blades.

They lay me down and leave me there. I reach out to one of the women. “Please,” I beg. “Please help me.” She pauses for a moment, and I think she is going to offer me help, but she just removes my hand and they leave. I lay there, letting silent tears fall. How could I ever have believed this was a good place? How did I not know this was happening? This place is evil. Pure evil.

* * *

I barely sleep and I barely move as each time I do the pain rips through me. I know the lashing wounds will scar all across my stomach and my chest. A lifetime reminder of who controls me, who I am to follow and what happens when I don’t.

The door opens and my father walks in. “Father,” I rasp.

His eyes look pained, and I reach out to him for comfort, but he just stands there, unmoving and sighs. “Talitha, you embarrass me. You dishonour me and our community. I prayed that you would return, I pray that now you are cleansed, you can prove your loyalty to me and to God,” he states coldly. I don’t respond to him, knowing that it will be pointless. He believes them, more than he would believe his own daughter. “I have spoken with Father Isiah and Brother Asher. It is decided that you shall wed Brother Asher.”

“No. Father, I do not want to––” He holds his hand up, silencing me.

“It is God’s wish and the wish of Father Isiah. This would mean great things for you, you would be cared for, you would be worshipped, you would be safe. It is an honour to wed a brother of our community and it’s an honour to be wed to Brother Asher.”

I know what he means when he says secure, he means I wouldn’t be shipped and sold to the highest bidder. So somewhere in there, he cares for his daughter, shame he couldn’t care enough to take us away from it. Still doesn’t change the fact that he has been part of sending so many women, so many girls. He will never be my father, I could never forgive him for what he has done to me and to those girls.

Using all my strength, I stand on shaky legs. I stand in front of him, not afraid, not bowing my head in respect like I should, but lifting my chin, standing up against him.

“I will not marry Brother Asher, I will never do as you ask. I know what you do, I know what all of you do, what this community really is… I have seen them, Father, the girls you send to be sold like cattle, the young innocent girls. Martha! You sold her, you sold her to some sick evil man. I know everything that this place is and how you treat these poor innocent people. You may be able to keep me captive here, you may be able to keep me silenced, but know this… you shall never be my father, you are dead to me. You are one of them, not the man you had me believe you were,” I spit angrily at him. He seems shocked by my outburst. I would have never spoke back to him like this before, I would have never asked any questions and I’d have kept my head bowed and followed the rules of our community.

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