He nods. “It’s a decision I am making for the club and for those people. She offered, she put herself forward.”
“Yeah, just like Serena and Wes did, and look how that fucking went down. I ain’t putting my life on the line for some bitch, and if Wes hadn’t been so pussy-whipped, he would still be here today.” Before I can say another word, Rip flies across the room, his hands wrapping tightly around my throat, cutting off my air.
“Don’t you ever fucking speak of him in that way. He was more of a fucking man than you have ever been,” he seethes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hear Mammoth roar before he is pulling Rip off of me. I turn to the side, coughing and gasping for air.
Mammoth stands there, his hand on Rip’s chest, holding him back. “Get your fucking shit together, you leave in two hours,” Rip fumes.
He pushes Mammoth out of the way and storms out of the room. “What the fuck did you say to cause that?”
“I called Wes a pussy,” I wheeze.
Mammoth shakes his head. “Well, then you fucking deserved it,” he says before walking out the room.
I lay there, knowing he's right, knowing Rip is right. “Fuck.” I sigh, getting up and in the shower, hanging my head under the hot spray.
After I've gotten dressed, I stand in front of my mirror. “You're a fucking idiot,” I chastise myself.
Walking into the main bar, I aim straight for Rip, and his gaze pins me to the spot. “Pres, I'm sorry for what I said. I know I was out of line. Shit, I don’t even know why I said it.” He doesn’t say anything, his pissed off gaze still pinning me. “Pres?”
“I swear to fucking Hades, if you ever say anything like that about him again, I will strip you of your fucking patch. He was a brother, we don’t ever disrespect our own,” he warns.
I nod, feeling like a pathetic prospect all over again. “Now, grow a pair of fucking balls, stop being a whiny pain in the club’s ass and sort whatever shit you have going on with Talitha, because its making you weak, which is making the club weak, and right now I need everyone fucking focused,” he orders.
I lift my chin and walk outside. I see Talitha sat with Flo, laughing, but as I walk over to her, her laughter stops, and the smile falls from her face. Flo just glares at me.
“Bambi, can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask.
She nods. Flo stands and comes up in my face. “You fucking upset her again, I will hand you your balls in a fucking jar,” she threatens.
“Got it.” I wink at her. She growls, storming off. She is too easy to tease.
I stand in front of Talitha, her big beautiful eyes looking at me. I sigh. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating you like a complete dick. I never meant to hurt you. I told you I don’t know how to do this relationship stuff. Fuck! I don’t do relationships. I fuck then move on, but you're different,” I state, and her eyes widen in surprise. I can’t help but smile. “I tried and I fucking tried to just move on to the next one, but you're there all the damn time,” I say, tapping my head. “I close my eyes, you're there… in the shower… I can’t even eat a piece of damn chocolate without thinking about you. It’s fucked up,” I rant. This time she smiles. I groan. “Don’t do that, don’t smile and be all fucking cute and shit.”
“Khan, what are you saying?” she asks. I look up to the sky, taking a deep breath. I move close to her and cup her face with my hands.
“I'm saying, you’ve fucking got me. I have no idea what to do and the whole thing freaks me the fuck out. I don’t even know what this is and I can’t promise I won’t fuck up. What I’m telling you is that you're mine, and it doesn’t matter how much I try and deny it. You're not just under my skin, you're fucking imbedded,” I state, leaning in, my lips brushing hers. Her breath hitches and that’s all I need, I take her mouth, kissing her, and damn, I'm kicking my own ass for making me miss this. Her soft lips, her tongue, her taste… I groan as she grips my shirt, pulling me closer.
She suddenly breaks the kiss. “Stop,” she breathes.
“Bambi?”
“No,” is all she says.
“No what?”
“No, I'm not yours yet. When this is done and I'm back out of there, then it’s a yes.” She smiles.
“You're not still going in there?” I state.
“Yes, I am,” she snaps back. “What did you think… that because you’ve apologised and been sweet that it would change things? That I wouldn’t want to help the club?”
“Well, yeah.” I shrug.
She laughs, shaking her head. “If when I get back you’ve managed stay faithful to me while I'm gone, then yes to us.” She smiles.
I stare at her. “You're not going to back down on going in there, are you?” I ask. She shakes her head. “Then I guess it looks like I'm gonna have blue balls for the next couple of weeks.”