Page 60 of Praise You

They both nod their head so I make my way to the kitchen and grab some bottles of water. Looking through the cabinets, I grab a bag of chips and head back to the living room. Tossing the chips onto the coffee table, I hand each of them a water, before sitting back down next to them.

"Where have you been, by the way?" West says. My head lifts in time to watch Carter smack him in the back of the head. Rolling my eyes, I open the bottle of water and start gulping it down. "What? It's a serious question. He lives here, but we barely see him. Hell, I never thought I would say this, but I miss all the sex noises coming from his room all the time."

His words come out easily as the water gets stuck in my throat. I cough roughly, trying to catch my breath, taken aback by what he said. "What?" I gasp out, my eyes widening in their direction.

Now it's West's turn to roll his eyes. "Don't even pretend like you don't know what I’m talking about. There was either constant moaning, groaning, whimpering, all the noises you would expect. And the talking. Oh, my god. The talking. Do you like talking to yourself? Like do you work yourself up? How did that work?"

"Oh. My. God," I mutter, dropping my head into my hands. My cheeks start to warm up and I know I'm fucking blushing hard. I always tried so fucking hard to be quiet, but I knew there was a risk that one of them would hear me. But for some reason, I truly never thought about what they were hearing on the other side of the door. My mind starts flicking through all the different videos I've made and I groan out loud.

"Fucking West. Why did you have to say something?" Carter whispers, but loud enough that I hear him.

"It's true. It was like a fucking porno or something going on in there. But like for reals, what did you do in there? Cause my mind runs wild thinking of what was going on." I hear a smack and I can only assume Carter has hit him in the head again. "Fucking hell, Carter. I was just asking."

"It's none of your business," Carter grits out. "What he does in the privacy of his room is between him and him."

They are fucking killing me. They're having a full ass conversation as though I'm not sitting here in the room with them listening to every word. I cover my ears, trying to drown them out, but it's not working.

"Oh, holy hell. I was making videos, all right? I wasn't talking to myself, or getting myself off to my own words. I was making videos." I blurt out, my eyes expanding when I realize what I've just said. "Fuck," I whisper.

"Videos?" Asher's voice cuts through, and I groan. When the hell did he come into the room?

"Yes. Videos."

"What kind of videos?" West asks a little too eagerly. I look up at him and see him staring at me. There's not a look of disgust on his face, but more of a curious look, like he wants to know more about it.

"Well, uh, I did different types of videos."

"For reals?"

I nod my head looking at each of them. They all seem interested in knowing more, so I start telling them more about it. "It wasn't porn. Well, kinda, but I never did anything with anyone in person. It was either I recorded myself or I did live videos with people."

"I never heard any other voice besides yours," Carter finally cuts in.

"I usually made them when the house was empty."

"Wow. I never would have thought that. Did you like it?" Now it's Asher's turn to ask his questions.

"I mean yes, of course. Fuck, this is so weird. Telling you guys about this when I've kept it a secret for so long."

"Why did you keep it a secret from us? We know you're a secretive person, but you have to know we would have been here for you. Or to help you." West looks at Carter and amends his statement, "I mean not help-help, but like we could have made sure we were out of the house, or made sure you had everything you need." Carter smacks him again and West mouths ‘ow’ before looking back at me. "It sucks you felt like you couldn't tell us." He shrugs his shoulders and I instantly feel like shit.

"It wasn't that I was keeping it from you. It was more so the less people who knew the better. I don't show my face; I didn't want anyone to know it was me. It wasn't because I didn't trust you guys. It was just easier for me."

"We get that," Carter says, grabbing West's hand and squeezing. "Sorry we forced you to tell us. Well, not us, but West."

"Ya know, I actually feel lighter now that you know. But uh, I don't do that anymore." I tell them, taking another sip of my water.

West gasps, his hand flying up to his chest, pretending he’s offended. "You stop doing it now that we know. Why?"

Beaming, I shake my head. "I actually stopped a while ago. And uh, because I met someone. I didn't feel the need to do it anymore." Glancing at the three of them, Carter and West seem shocked, but Asher has a smile on his face. "I take it Noah told you," I guess, talking to Asher.

"Kind of. He didn't say who. Just that you met someone and seemed really happy."

I nod my head, loving that Noah still respected my privacy.

"Do we get to know who?” Carter asks me quietly.

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone. At least not right now." I take the time to look at each of them in the eye, waiting until they nod at me.

---