Page 57 of Praise You

My eyes lock with Oliver's wide ones and I see the panic behind them. Panic that's because of me. Because I was too weak to keep my hands off him for one night. Slowly backing away, I put my hands into my pocket. I turn toward the voice and internally curse when I notice it's Dean Grey.

"Good evening, Dean Grey." I say, glancing quickly at Oliver who's clearly freaking out.

"Hello, good evening." I can tell she doesn't know who I am, which might be a good thing and means we didn't actually get caught. "Oh, Oliver, just who I was looking for. Timothy McGee with the scholarship foundation has arrived and I would love it if you could come talk to him for a few minutes." She glances between us quickly, then focuses her attention back on Oliver.

"Yes, of course Dean Grey. I will be right there." Since I know him so well, I can hear the shakiness in his voice, but I'm hoping she doesn't pick up on it.

"Thank you," she turns to walk back down the hallway, but not before giving me another glance of curiosity.

As soon as she's out of sight, I make my way closer to Oliver, but he puts his hand up, stopping me.

"We'll talk about this later." He pulls on his suit jacket, fiddling with the hem. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before looking at me. "I love you, but I have to go."

"Okay," I say softly. Oliver doesn't kiss me goodbye, which stings, and I watch as he strides away from me.

Not wanting to make things worse, I quietly slip out of the side door, hoping no one sees me leave. I can't be around other people right now, especially with how broken Oliver looked.

All I had to do was keep my hands to myself for one night and I couldn't even do that. I might have ruined his career for an impulsive decision. Stepping out into the cool air, I stop on the side of the road debating where to go. Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I tilt my head back and sigh. A raindrop falls on my cheek and I laugh out loud.

Of fucking course.

Turning down the street, I start walking toward Oliver's apartment, my suit getting soaked from the downpour of rain that starts. This night started out beyond my wildest dreams, only to crash and burn right in front of me. I’m not sure where Oliver’s head is at right now, but I can only hope this doesn’t ruin what we’ve started.

Chapter Twenty-One

Oliver

Stepping through the front door to my apartment, I close the door softly and lean against the cold wood. Tapping my head against the door, I close my eyes, taking a second to catch my breath. I feel like I haven't been able to breathe since Dean Grey caught Ronan and me in the hallway earlier. Of course, she didn't say anything about what she saw, but I could see the curious glance she had given Ronan before she walked away.

After saying goodbye to Ronan, I went to rejoin the fundraiser, making sure to spend some time talking with Timothy. BU offers tons of scholarships to students, and this fundraiser was an attempt at creating a new scholarship that would benefit students in the literature department. I'm confident I was able to get Timothy to consider helping fund the scholarship, but once the night came to an end, all the emotions from earlier came flooding back.

I made my rounds around the room, making sure I said goodbye to each person I came across. Slipping out the door, I walked straight into a rainstorm which seemed appropriate for what I was feeling. After standing in the rain for longer than necessary, I sat in my car wanting to scream, but it helped me to think through some things before heading back home. I knew Ronan would be here waiting for me, and I wanted to make sure I had answers to the questions I know he's going to have.

His feet pad across the floor, his presence filling the space in front of me. Opening my eyes, I take Ronan in; his hair is a mess, his eyes are red and tear-rimmed as though he's been crying. He looks tormented and wrecked and my heart aches for him. Reaching my hand out, I wait until he takes it and drag him to me.

"Are you okay?" I ask, pecking at his lips.

"No," he mumbles, his body shaking.

"Come on, let's go sit on the couch so we can talk." He nods his head so I grab hold of his hand and lead him over to the couch. I sit down and pull him down next to me, twisting my body so I'm facing him.

"Well, shit." I huff trying to break the tension. Ronan is wound so tight and while I don't blame him, I hate seeing him so stressed. "We're okay, Ronan." I soothe, rubbing my thumb along the side of his hand, wanting and needing him to know that no matter what happens, me and him are good.

"But she saw us, Oliver. That was the one thing we said couldn't happen. No one could find out about us until after graduation." Tears form in his eyes again and I rush to console him.

"Ronan, we’re okay. So, she saw us. I thought about that earlier and I think I have an idea if you're up for hearing it." He nods his head so I continue talking, "I have checked the code of conduct multiple times, and nowhere does it say anything about a teacher/student relationship being prohibited."

"Okay?"

"So, earlier I was sitting in my car, and I kept thinking of what we should do. While she doesn't know for sure who you are—there are thousands of students on this campus—I think the best thing to do would be for me to go in and talk to her and be honest. Dean Grey has done a lot for me, and I owe this to her. I might have been scared and nervous before about what would happen, but I'm not anymore."

"And what happens if she says it's inappropriate?" He diverts his gaze, pulling his hand away. I knew he was going to head down this road. He thinks if Dean Grey forces me to choose, I won't choose him. He took a chance on me, trusting me not to break his heart after it's been broken in the past, and he needs to know I meant what I said when I said I would take care of it.

"If she does, and I have to choose, then it's really no choice at all."

"Oh, I see," he sounds so broken and I hate that he thinks I wouldn't choose him.

"Ronan? You are who I would choose.” I take hold of his chin, turning his face to me. “I told you, I'm not going to break your heart, and I meant that. I love you and I see a future with you. If something were to happen, and I needed to reevaluate my job, then that's what I would have to do. You’re worth it. You're worth everything. Those other men—ahem, boys—before me didn't know how amazing you are. And for that, I'm grateful. What they did to you put you on the path to me and I will never take it for granted. I will do anything to keep you."

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