Page 51 of Praise You

"You okay?"

"Yeah, we should come back here. Maybe next spring break, though; the summer might be too hot." Oliver stares at me, no words coming out. "Or not, we don't have to. I was thinking about the other hiking trails, and figured it would be cool to hike more than one."

"You're thinking about us being together next year?" Oliver whispers, his body leaning closer to mine.

"Yeah, I am." I reach out and grab his nape, pulling him closer to me.

"I love you," Oliver breathes out before kissing me.

"Wait, wait," I pull back, looking into his eyes, "Dammit, Freckles, I wanted to say it first. I've been waiting all day to say it."

"You have?"

"I have. I love you, too."

"I love hearing those words come out of your mouth." He chuckles, and I can’t help but join in. Him telling me he loves me causes a warmth to settle in my chest.

"Same," I tell him, kissing him again.

We pack up the backpack, standing and walking away from the tables. I grab his hand with mine and interlock our fingers together. "Can I ask you a question? And I'm not trying to fight, or start a fight, I'm just genuinely curious about it. I wasn't sure how to bring it up, so I figured just asking was the best solution."

"Well, shit. Now I'm worried. What's up?"

"It's really nothing bad. I was wondering if you're still doing live sessions on your site. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be upset; I just realized we haven't talked about it and it's gotten me curious."

I squeeze his hand and pull him to me. Holding onto his hip, I tilt his chin so he's looking into my eyes. "I have not done one live session since ours. I also haven't made any new videos. It didn't feel right."

"I'm not saying you have to quit..." I cut him off without letting him continue.

"Thank you for that, but it was something I decided. The first time we got together on the live session when I knew it was you, I was done. Honestly, I haven't even thought about making a video or doing a session. You may say it's okay, but for me, it's not. I haven't deleted them though, they’re still making money, which I need while I'm finishing school. But making new videos? I'm done with that."

"Are you sure? Like I said, I would be fine with you still doing it."

"I'm sure. And truthfully, I am. When I first did the cam thing, I did it because it was the only way I knew how to not get hurt. And hell, making extra money didn't hurt either." Oliver laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist. "You could really hurt me, ya know?" I tell him the truth that's been sitting heavily in my heart. Oliver has the power to destroy me. What I feel for him is unlike anything I've ever felt before. If Oliver were to break my heart, all that would be left of me was a shell.

"I will never hurt you. That's a promise, Ronan. I will always be open and honest with you about everything. If at any point feelings change for either of us, we'll be honest with each other. I don't do that cheating shit, I can tell you that."

"I don't ever want to hurt you either," I promise, knowing with every fiber of my being, I'll do whatever it takes to keep this man happy.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Freckles." I kiss his nose, then move away, interlocking our fingers. We start walking off the trail when I look back at him. "Two more months. And then that's it. You'll be mine. In private and in public."

"I can't wait."

Neither can I. But I know we have to wait a couple more months and that'll be it. I'll graduate and we won't have to worry anymore.

Chapter Nineteen

Oliver

It's our last full day here, and it's a bittersweet feeling. This trip has been amazing and I'm not ready for it to end. Being able to walk hand in hand with Ronan has shown me what it would be like if we could always be this way. Two months seem like a long damn time, but I'm hoping it flies by quickly. Every time I think of being honest with the dean and going public, the fear of either me losing my job or Ronan being kicked out of school holds me back.

Wanting to make our last day special, I spent time last night looking for a farmers market in the area. I'm planning to surprise Ronan with it.

If he ever wakes his ass up.

Walking back into the room, I find a pillow that's found its way onto the floor. Picking it up, I whack Ronan in the head with it, hoping it wakes him up. Ronan groans, rolling over and pulling the blanket back over his head.

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