Page 37 of Praise You

"Freckles." I wait until he looks up at me and I squeeze his hand. "I've been waiting to be alone with you, so yes, I would love to go back to your place."

"Okay."

Oliver puts the car in drive and takes us toward his apartment. It isn't long until we're walking up the stairs to his floor. I keep my distance, knowing that if I touch him, I won't want to stop. I want to talk with him about his trip and about what he did while he was gone. I watch as his shaky hand tries to put the key into the lock. I place my hand over his, stopping him.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, wanting to make sure he wants me here.

"I'm fine. I'm nervous." He chuckles, then turns around to face me. "I don't know what I'm doing and I'm nervous." He shrugs his shoulders before leaning forward and placing his forehead against mine. "Is that weird?" he whispers.

"No, it's not. I'm nervous, too."

"You are?" He looks at me wide-eyed, pushing his glasses up his nose. The small movement causes my heart to beat faster.

"Yeah, Freckles. I'm nervous too. And not because I'm expecting something sexual to happen. But because this is the first time we'll actually be alone-alone."

Oliver turns back around, his hand now expertly unlocking the door. He swings it open, offering for me to go in front of him. I step into his apartment, looking around at his space. He has a blue couch with a small table in front of it, and a TV on the wall across from the couch. The same couch I've seen many times when we've video chatted with each other. The couch I watched him use the toy on. My dick gets instantly hard and I adjust myself, snickering when Oliver's eyes track the movement.

"Do you want something to drink?" he offers as he walks over to the fridge.

"Sure."

He grabs us both a bottle of water, then walks into the living room. "I'm still nervous."

"Come here, Freckles."

I sit down on his couch, patting the space next to me. Oliver nudges in beside me, passing me the water. I put the bottle onto the table, then grab his, and set it down beside mine. Grabbing his hand, I pull him closer to me.

"What else are you nervous about?"

Blowing out a breath, he looks up at the ceiling. I give him time to gather his thoughts. I don't want to rush him, but I want to know what he's thinking. I rest my hand on his thick thigh, loving when he moves his hand to grab mine.

"This is all so new to me. Everything. We've talked about this before. I've always known I was attracted to men, but I never acted on it. I was with Alison for so long there was no reason to act on my attraction toward any man I saw. So, being here with you, I feel like a teenager all over again. Learning who I am, and what I want. And I don't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me? How could you ever think you would disappoint me?" I say, baffled as to why he would think that.

"You're much more experienced than I am. You've been with men before and I haven't. What if I decide I don't like something?"

"Then you tell me. You tell me exactly how you're feeling. We'll make sure we're being honest with each other. That's how it works. Or how it's supposed to work." It never worked that way for me in the past, which is why I was always the last to know I was being cheated on, but I know nothing can work without being honest. And I need Oliver to know he can be honest with me. He tilts his head at me and I don't let him ask the question I know he's wanting to ask. "Just be honest with me, and I'll always be honest with you. About everything."

"Okay." He nods his head. "So, uh. Fuck, this is so weird." Oliver drops his head into his hands and I chuckle.

"How was your trip?" I ask, wanting him to relax. He's wound up so tight, I'm afraid to spook him.

"It was fine. My parents were good, but I spent most of my time with Alexander and Elias. I think you would really like them."

"Oh, would I?" I love that he's thinking this way. Maybe he could be different from my exes before him. As much as I argue I’m not a relationship person, if he wanted one, I could already see myself giving in to him.

He nods his head quickly before continuing, "We went and did the tourist thing. Elias loves going out, so we spent the days out and about, even though I had lived there my whole life and had visited most of the places. It was really nice to get away, but I'm glad to be back. How was your break? How's Noah?"

"Noah is good." I wouldn't exactly say he's good, but I don't want to get into everything right now, and talking about Noah will make me emotional. "My break went by slowly. Christmas was nice, my mom always goes all out for the holidays. Makes a ton of food, so that was my favorite part."

"It sounds like we both had a good couple weeks."

"It would have been better if we had been together," I admit.

"I agree. Are you ready for the next semester to start?"

"Hell yes. It's my last semester. I'm fucking stoked to get it over with. Plus, the fact I'm no longer considered your student is a plus. Are you ready for the next semester?"