Page 26 of Praise You

"What about when I'm not your student?"

Oliver doesn't say anything, but by the way his fingers are twisting the pen, I can tell I have him rattled.

Slumping my shoulders, I gesture to the chairs, giving up my tough act. "Can we please sit and talk?"

"Fine," he relents.

I sit down in the chair while Oliver takes the seat next to me. "Are you really telling me you don't feel anything? That this is all in my head?"

He leans forward, putting his head in his hands. He sighs loudly before turning to look at me, his shoulders sagging. "No."

"Okay... so…?" I trail off, not knowing why he’s fighting this so much if we both feel something.

"There's no ‘okay so’, Ronan. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you hadn’t recognized me on your live session thing. Or, fuck, if I had never logged on in the first place."

"But it did happen."

"Yeah, it did. And now we have to be adults and forget about it. I'm sorry."

"Okay," I concede. I’m not going to force him into something he clearly doesn’t want.

I'm honestly not even sure what I want to happen. He's right, he's my professor and I'm his student. It makes the most sense to forget any of this happened and move on. I barely even know him.

"I'll see you next week."

I get up slowly, waiting to see if he'll say anything else, but he doesn't. I grip the handle to the door before looking back to see if he's looking at me. Oliver's head is in his hands again and I shake my head.

Oh well, I tried.

My ego is shot to hell, so as soon as I step through the front door, I race up the stairs to my room, not wanting to see anyone. Sitting at my desk, I take out all my books and slowly start working on assignments for my courses. Oliver's face flashes through my mind and I shake my head.

I don't know what I was thinking. Just because he joined my live, doesn't mean he’d want to try anything with me. Hell, he didn't even know it was me. He wasn't joining to see me personally. He was joining to see whoever was on that screen. And whatever I thought could happen between us is ridiculous.

I work on my assignments for about an hour before packing it all away. There’s a restless energy running through me, so I slip into my closet and take down my tripod. I might as well make a video since I’m not going to sleep anytime soon.

Lifting my shirt over my head, I toss it onto the floor before unbuttoning my jeans and shoving them down my legs. Standing in my black briefs, I grab a mask out of my dresser and sit on the edge of my bed, fiddling with my phone, trying to position it onto the tripod.

Once I get everything set up, I log into the FAN-tasy site and click the button to take me to a live session. I’m not waiting long before a few names start popping into my waiting room wanting to join. My finger hovers over the screen, getting ready to click a name, when a semi-familiar handle pops up.

My breath comes out in a whoosh, and my hand falls onto my lap.

What the fuck?

Not letting him second-guess himself, I quickly press on his name, watching the twirling circle load the session. His face pops up on my screen, both of us staring at each other, neither saying a word.

“Prof—”

“Oliver. Please, call me Oliver.”

“Oliver,” I croak, pulling my mask off. “What are you doing here?”

He sits back in his chair, running his hand through his hair. I can’t see much, but I can tell he’s on his couch. He’s a little farther away from his screen than I am, so I’m pretty sure he’s using his computer. He shakes his head, then looks back at the camera.

“I’m not sure,” he whispers. “But I can’t stay away.” He shrugs his shoulders, then scoots up onto the couch so his face is in closer view. “You’re still my student though, so whatever this is...” He flicks his hand from his body and toward the camera. “Needs to stay on here.”

“On here?” I ask slowly. “On the computer?”

“It’s the only way I can see this happening. At least for now.”

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