Page 22 of Praise You

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I yell.

I pull on my hair in frustration. How the hell did I let this happen? After getting home, I finally felt ready to do a session with masked_menace. I didn't know it was Ronan behind the screen. I didn't know it was him. If I would have known, I never would have joined the live session.

Oh my god, the videos. I've watched every single video of his.

I've gotten myself off to his videos. My student.

Ronan.

Fucking shit.

Turning around, I glare at the computer as though it will solve all my problems. Walking over, I slam it shut, then back away as though it's a bomb.

Masked_menace is Ronan? What the hell?

Leaving the living room, I walk into the kitchen and open the cabinet. I shove the bottles to the side until I find my unopened bottle of whiskey. I don’t usually drink hard liquor, but this seems like a good time to drink some. I open the cabinet to the left, reaching in and grabbing a glass.

Twisting the top off the whiskey, I pour some into the glass before tossing it back. I wince, my throat burning at the taste. Pouring some more, I do it again before sitting down on the stool. I slam the glass down onto the counter a little harder than necessary before putting my head in my hands.

All the videos I've watched slowly start flashing through my mind. Masked_menace undressing, stroking himself for the camera, winking at me, praising me. Well, okay, maybe not me personally, but it felt like it was for me. I remember how excited I would get when I would see a new video uploaded. The exorbitant amount of times I've gotten myself off to those videos.

No. Gotten myself off to Ronan.

Groaning, I hit my head with my fist a couple times. Maybe if I stop thinking about it, it'll be like it never happened. I pour myself another shot of whiskey before twisting the cap back on.

I clean up the kitchen, putting the whiskey away, and place my glass in the sink before walking to my bedroom. I strip down to my briefs, then slide into my bed, pulling the covers up over my head and closing my eyes.

The different videos pop into my head again, but this time, I imagine it as Ronan. The man online is the complete opposite of the man I know. In the videos, masked_menace is a confident leader in the bedroom, whereas in class Ronan seems almost shy. He doesn't have that confidence about him when it comes to literature. I'm not sure how I never realized how similar their voices were. But masked_menace's voice is deeper whereas Ronan has a softer lilt to his tone.

My dick plumps up when I remember what Ronan was wearing in the live tonight. It looked like he was wearing all leather, with a matching collar and even a leather mask.

Oh, god. It was the sexy as fuck Halloween costume I saw him in a few weeks earlier.

Groaning, I grab my pillow and place it over my face, trying to smother myself.

I can't think of Ronan anymore.

Or masked_menace.

Or whoever he is.

It's been a couple days since Thanksgiving weekend and I still haven't been able to get Ronan out of my mind. Today I teach his class, so I'm nervous about how this is going to go. I know he won't say anything in class; he wears a mask for a reason. But I'm not too sure he won't say something when we're alone. And if he does, what am I supposed to say?

This shit is all kinds of fucked up.

Blowing out a breath, I open the door to the lecture hall and walk inside. I avoid making eye contact with everyone, walking straight to the lectern and setting my messenger bag down. Once everyone quiets down, I start my lesson. My mind starts to forget about all things Ronan as I focus on my class. We read the next part of our text before discussing the different questions I had prepared. The entire time we're discussing, I keep my eyes away from Ronan. He doesn't raise his hand or try to participate and I'm thankful.

I wrap up the class, giving the students the next list of chapters they need to read. Gathering my supplies, I try to stuff them into my bag as fast as possible. Ty waves goodbye as he files out with the rest of the students. I lift the strap over my head and rest it on my shoulder. Closing my eyes, I turn around, ready to haul ass out of the room when I bump into another body.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Reaching out, I steady myself before looking up and locking eyes with Ronan.

"It's fine. I was too close," he murmurs, shrugging his shoulders.

I scan the lecture hall, seeing everyone has already left the room.

"Are we meeting at the library again?" Ronan asks, twisting the strap on his backpack.

"Yeah." Blurts out of my mouth without thinking.

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