Page 36 of Not So Casual

“Baby,” His voice rasps, before he grabs me around the nape and pulls me closer to him. He kisses my forehead, the tip of my nose, then my lips before resting his forehead against mine, wiping away my tears. “We haven’t been casual for a while.”

“You only do casual.” I go to pull away, but his hand on me tightens, keeping me in place.

“Apparently not.” He chuckles, kissing me again softly on the lips. “There’s just something about you, Elias. There always has been. It’s never been casual between us.”

“So…” I pause, licking my lips, allowing myself a few seconds to calm my racing heart. “What are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is…” Alexander wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to straddle his lap. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you, Elias Bowen. And I probably have been for a lot longer than I realized.”

Gasping, my body starts to shake, emotion taking over all my senses. “You are?”

“Yeah, Elias. I am. Probably have been for longer than I can admit.”

“I love you, too.” A tear falls down my cheek and I swipe it away with my hand. Just saying the words makes me feel ten times lighter.

“You don’t have to say it back just because I said it.”

Sifting my fingers through his hair, I smile, giddy with all the sensations that are coursing through my body. “I’m not. I’m in love with you, too. It’s why I thought I had to end it. I was starting to have too many feelings, and I was worried I was going to get hurt.”

“If I have my way, you’ll never get hurt. You’ll only feel loved.”

“Are you sure?” How can I know this is real? I want this to be real so badly, but as much as I always wished for this, I never thought it would actually come true.

“Elias.” I didn’t realize I had looked away until his hand grips my chin and tilts it toward him. “You’ve always been different. But I had my reasons for keeping you at arm's length. At first, it was because you were my assistant, and then it was because you have dreams I would rather not get in the way of, then it was simply my fear. The fear of opening up to you and you leaving me. The fear of falling for you, and you not returning my feelings.”

“What changed?” I ask, rubbing the hairs on the back of his neck. The way he tilts his head and leans into my touch is everything.

“I was out with Marcus and Mason showed up—”

I cut him off before he can continue. “Mason? Fuck boy Mason? What the fuck?”

“Fuck boy Mason? What? He’s not a fuck boy. Anyway, he was at the bar trying to pick me up.”

“Of fucking course,” I mumble. “I always fucking hated that guy. Did you know when you guys were doing whatever you were doing, he would purposely come to the office to rub my face in it?”

“What the hell? I didn’t know that. Why would he do that?” he asks, a shocked look crossing his face.

“Because he knew I had a crush on you.” I throw my hands into the air. “He knew, and he wanted to rub it in my face.”

“You had a crush on me?”

Slapping his chest, I smile. “Yes. Now back to your story. What happened with Mason?”

Even though I don’t want to know, I do want to know. Obviously, nothing happened if he ended up here on my doorstep telling me he loves me, but I still want to know.

“He tried to hook up with me, and the entire time your face was the only one I saw. While he was talking, I realized I’d slowly let you in. I’ve let you in for the past few years, but this last month?” Blowing out a breath, he shakes his head and smiles at me. “This past month, I’ve let you in without even realizing it. I realized our hooking up was anything but casual. For fuck’s sake, you have drawers full of your stuff in my bedroom.”

Barking out a laugh, I nod my head. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound very casual, does it?”

“Not at all. And I knew I didn’t ever want to risk losing you, so I told him I was seeing someone, and it was like everything made sense once I said it.”

I can only imagine how upset Mason was to hear that, but fuck it, I don’t care. I’m just thankful that him running into Mason gave him the push he needed.

“Soooo,” I draw out. “Where do we go from here?”

“We keep doing what we’re doing. We date.”

“We were dating,” I squeak.

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