Page 70 of Heart So Hollow

I run my fingers back and forth over my scalp, trying to focus. A million things flash through my mind, a million seconds playing and replaying over and over again like a bad song stuck in my head.

“OK,” Bowen sounds thoughtful, “what does he do there?”

“Security,” I croak.

There’s a long pause and I start to wonder if the call actually did drop this time.

Suddenly, Bowen’s deep voice growls through the speaker, “Are you fucking kidding?” That got his attention.

“No!” I’m careful not to raise my voice too much, “I haven’t seen him in three years and now he’s here, where I work, with a gun and tasers and mace and knives stuck all over him!”

“Maybe you should go home,” Bowen suggests.

“I can’t stay there forever…” Nothing seems like a good option.

“No,” he concedes, “but it might help you today. You sound like you’re about to lose it.”

Bowen’s right, of course. For a fleeting moment, I wonder whether I’ve crossed over into an alternate universe. This kind of thing doesn’t just happen. How can he be here? The odds are astronomical, aren’t they? Then I remember what Bowen said around the campfire about Colson having three years to think about me…

“Maybe I will. But I just got back from vacation,” I waffle, “I don’t know, I’ll see what I have going on the rest of the day.”

“Alright,” Bowen’s tone still has an edge, “well, let me know what you decide to do so I know you’re OK.”

“Definitely,” I sigh, focusing on my breathing.

“Hey, Brett?”

“Yeah?”

There’s another long pause.

“Whenever you leave, watch who’s walking or driving behind you.”

And now I’m back in senior year of college, locking myself away, looking behind me, watching my rearview mirror, glancing around corners, hoping I don’t see the one person I’m trying to avoid.

But unlike last time, I don’t have an entire university campus with 62,000 students to hide among. Now, I have one office building that only takes two minutes to walk end to end. And I know I’ll not only see Colson walking the halls, but I’ll likely see him in meetings, in trainings, and any other activity that involves safety and security.

There’s a knock at my door.

“Someone’s at my door, I’ll let you know what happens the rest of the day.”

“OK, love you.”

“I love you too,” I set my phone down and type my password into my computer in an attempt to make it look like I’m doing something productive.

“Come in!” I call as I sweep a stack of folders off my desk and spin around to set them on the filing cabinet behind me.

The door opens and I hear Eric’s familiar voice, “Brett, do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” When I spin back around, my stomach drops and I feel an electric shock radiate all the way down to my legs.

Colson is standing in the doorway next to Eric.

“This is Colson Lutz,” Eric motions to him, “he started last week. You might’ve seen his name on the list for access approvals.”

No, I didn’t, because I was on vacation and didn’t pay attention to anything I was signing. Maybe I should’ve just stayed on vacation.

“Oh, yeah,” I clear my throat, suddenly parched, “I’ve been out of town.”

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