Page 170 of Heart So Hollow

Bowen shoots me a knowing look, “Because I told her to leave you alone.”

“You don’t know where she got the bruises?”

His eyes wander across the tile, until they finally settle back on me, “I don’t know what’s going on with Hannah, but I don’t need to give her bruises to convince her to listen to me. If she said something bitchy to you, it’s because she knows she’ll never measure up. That’s just what she does. But I’m used to it, so I should’ve said something to her a long time ago before she started bothering you this much, so that’s my fault.” He rests his chin on my shoulder, “What else do you want to know?”

Ask him. Just ask him.

“Why does Hildy say she doesn’t know how your friend, Evie, died?”

Bowen blinks, pausing for a moment before tipping his head back to look at me, “What do you mean?”

“She was telling me the story about Evie and, at the end, she said she didn’t even know how Evie died. But that’s impossible because you told me. And when I told her that, she got really upset and said that you didn’t know shit about it.”

Bowen pauses, and then bows his head and presses his lips to my shoulder, “It’s the same reason I need to remember what Colson did to you.”

When he says Colson’s name out loud, it sends a jolt through my chest. I’m not expecting it, and for some reason it makes me really uncomfortable.

“What do you mean?” I ask with apprehension.

“You want things to be normal again—whatever that means. So, you try to look past people’s flaws and ignore things that should make you uncomfortable. That’s what Hildy does. Except, with Evie, she’s totally blocked it out and doesn’t remember that part.”

“She’s just repressed all of it?”

“Yeah, because it was horrendous. And everyone including me lets her because what difference does it make? Who needs to think about it anymore?”

I stare down at the water circling down the drain at my feet. I’m sure Barrett would agree. She sees stuff like this all the time, and she’s said as much about me. So maybe I was right, reminding Hildy of something she doesn’t think even happened probably wasn’t the best idea.

I glance over my shoulder at Bowen and nod in acknowledgement.

“Anything else?” he murmurs in my ear.

My cheeks tense as I crack a smile, “You ever had anyone chained up in Jay’s barn?” I can’t even say it without breaking into a laugh.

Bowen lets out a chuckle into my back, “No,” he shakes his head, “but…”

I whip my head around, “But, what?”

Bowen gives a shrug, “Jay does like to watch.”

“What?” I shriek, “Watch who? You?”

“Not recently,” Bowen laughs, “it was a long time ago. Shit was a lot different back then. I didn’t give a fuck about a lot of things I do now.”

“Apparently,” I roll my eyes and decide to leave it at that.

I lean forward, further this time, and let the water wash over my face and over my hair to rinse the rest of the conditioner out. Bowen stands up behind me and, once I’m ready, grasps me under the arms and gently lifts me to stand. I don’t even bother tossing and scrunching my hair like normal, I just want to dry off and get into bed. And when I let my marred and exhausted body fall onto the mattress, it feels just as good as I expected.

Bowen stretches one arm beneath my neck and wraps his other arm around my torso, pressing my back to his chest, “You give good apologies,” he murmurs into the back of my neck.

A silent laugh escapes on my breath, “That’s a relief.” It makes me feel better, even if he doesn’t know how much.

“I know you didn’t ask to relive Hildy’s repressed memories or deal with her defective best friend. But you’re my life now, baby girl. And if you give me all of you, I promise you’ll get all of me.”

I run my hand up and down his arm, from his elbow down to his calloused hand resting halfway down the front of my shorts. I believe him, but I know it’ll take time to forget Hildy nearly bursting into tears at her husband’s birthday and not feel anything but irritation whenever Hannah comes around.

But it’s worth it, right?

“Four,” I murmur into Bowen’s bicep.

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