Page 39 of The Infinite Light of Dust

“We’ve just met, but can I tell you the most valuable thing I’ve learned as a woman, a daughter, and a mother?” she asked me, no hesitation in her voice.

I tried to keep the emotion out of my voice. “Yes, please.”

“When you think about your mother, and even your father, try a bit of empathy. It’s their first go at this life too.”

She reached for my hand, and I couldn’t help my shoulders from shaking, my fingers from trembling.

“It’s damn hard, and it feels much better to be angry, but we’re all trying to figure all this out, mistake by mistake, day by day. When I think about my parents, and myself as a mother, from that perspective, even my children’s father, that gives me a little bit of comfort. So I really hope it does for you too.”

Her one suggestion, piece of advice, whatever the hell I wanted to call it, changed my entire perception. My mother had been my age when she had me and my brother; my father too. Maybe instead of a villain and a selfish abandoner, my parents had simply been young kids trying to figure out how to navigate the world, like me. My mistakes may not be as harmful or heavy, but who got to decide the weight of our wrongdoings and how long our sentences for them should last?

Dory was right; it felt much better to be angry at both of my parents. I had empathy for everyone else around me, to a fault, so why not them? Maybe my mom was sitting somewhere wondering about me, wishing she could ask me how my day was or if I had eaten dinner yet. Maybe my father wanted to apologize for being so emotionally detached from me and pouring himself into his work my entire life.

Maybe, just maybe, my parents were human too.

Chapter Twenty

Karina

I could feel how puffy my eyes were when I opened them. I was curled up on the couch in Kael’s mom’s living room. I barely remembered moving from the kitchen, but when I woke up, it was dark outside and I could hear Kael and his mom talking in the kitchen. I stretched my arms out and a movement at the corner of my eye scared the crap out of me. I jumped up, thinking it was a dog or maybe even a ghost, but when I looked again, it was a teenage girl sitting on the other side of the couch, dressed in a white school uniform top and black slacks. Her hair was in double buns on either side of her head and thin metal-framed glasses sat on the bridge of her nose. I couldn’t see her clearly in the dim room but I blinked a few times to get the sleep out of my eyes.

“Hi.” She smiled, seeming to be entertained by my fear.

“Hi,” I responded, clearing my throat. “Sorry, I just woke up and didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

I could immediately tell that she was Kael’s sister, Tay. She was taller than I’d imagined but just as pretty. The genes in this family were insane.

“You’re Karina, right?” she asked me, her voice a whisper.

“Yeah, and you must be Tay? Sorry, I was so tired and must have conked out here. How embarrassing,” I said, matching the volume of her voice.

“It’s okay. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, still whispering.

“Why are we whispering?” I asked back, checking if there was a reason or if I had just kept it going.

“My ma and brother are going down memory lane like always, and I didn’t want to interrupt them yet, so I was waiting for you to wake up or for them to find me in here before I made my presence known.” She grinned, like she was breaking the rules.

I matched her expression and kept my voice as quiet as possible. “Makes sense. Family reunions can be so daunting.”

She scooted closer to me, to sit on the cushion I was on. “Yeah, for sure. And someone always cries, and it isn’t going to be me,” she said with certainty, rolling her eyes.

I tried not to laugh as I confessed, “I already did, so you’re safe.”

Her giggle was playful and louder than our voices had been, so she covered her mouth.

“Oh man, she got you already, huh?”

“She’s really good at it.”

“Tell me about it.” She rolled her head back as the light in the room got much brighter.

“When did you get home?” Dory asked Tay as Kael stepped in behind her, his frame so much bigger than his mother’s it was almost shocking.

In less than five steps, Kael was hovering over his sister, and she stood up as he lifted her into his arms and off the ground.

“Kaeellllll.” She exaggerated her voice, but I could hear the happiness in it.

“Tayyyyy,” he mimicked her, and she tried to wiggle out of his arms.

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