Page 31 of The Infinite Light of Dust

“Understandable. Last night was fucking wild. I can’t believe Phillips had the nerve to pull out a fucking gun.”

“Gloria.” Kael’s voice came out as a warning.

She rolled her eyes at him, clearly not fazed. “What? That’s what happened and she was literally there. Stop babying her.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me to the door.

As we were about to step inside she turned around to Kael behind us. “By the way, Manny is on his second bottle and the kids are at the neighbor’s house playing, so now that you’re here, you can take over babysitting my husband.”

Kael groaned but didn’t disagree.

Mendoza was sitting on the couch when we walked in. Like Gloria had warned, he had a half-empty bottle of what looked like his usual tequila in his hand.

“Happy fucking Tuesday!” he shouted as we entered the room. “Or is it Wednesday? Anyway, glad to see we’re all alive today. Have a seat!” He was cheerful, obviously drunk as hell, but in a funny mood.

A tiny voice in my head reminded me that it shouldn’t be funny, but that didn’t change the fact that it was.

“Glad to see you’re damaging your liver at one in the afternoon,” Kael said as he sat down next to him on the couch. I followed Gloria’s lead and plopped down on the love seat. She moved closer to me and crossed her legs under her body. The television was on, a football game playing in the background with barely any sound. Kids’ toys were scattered randomly around the room, and their house felt like a home full of life. Cup rings stained the wooden part of the coffee table, children’s fingerprints dotted the glass center.

“I’m nothing but consistent.” Mendoza leaned up to put his elbows on his knees. He was wearing his ACUs.

“Why aren’t you at the company?” Kael asked. For a bunch of soldiers, sometimes I wondered when they worked.

“I got the day off. Thanks to your old man.” He pointed the bottle at me.

“What?” I couldn’t hide my surprise and discomfort at the mention of my father. I wondered how Mendoza could even stand to be around me given how he felt about my dad. I was grateful that Kael had spared me most of the details of what exactly my dad had done; otherwise, my guilt would keep me from being able to have a friendship with Gloria.

“Your old man came and got me off work. Said I can take a mental health day or some shit. I was shocked too. A mental health day?” He laughed, taking a swig of the bottle.

Kael’s entire mood changed in a couple of breaths. I watched him try to keep his face still, but I could see the shift in his eyes, his jaw, his hands on his lap, as my father was mentioned. I knew we were seconds away from Kael telling Mendoza to stop talking.

On cue, he did just that.

“You can talk about my dad. It doesn’t bother me,” I told Mendoza, and looked at both him and Kael. “I hate him, too, so it’s fine.” I tried to smile, lighten the mood a little, but it came out awkwardly. I really needed to work on my social skills.

Gloria laughed, telling Kael to chill the fuck out, but he didn’t. He was only more tense as Mendoza offered me a drink.

“Absolutely not.” Kael pushed the bottle away from me before I could decide for myself. I didn’t even want to drink, but Kael deciding for me pissed me off, so I stood up and grabbed the bottle with both hands. Drinking in the middle of the day with so much shit going on was a horrible idea and I knew that, but that didn’t stop me.

Mendoza was amused; Kael was not. He glared at me and I glared right back, taking a swig of the warm liquor. I tried not to spit it back out as it burned down my chest and settled in the pit of my stomach. I quickly handed the bottle back to Mendoza. Gloria passed me a bottle of blue Gatorade and told me to wash it down.

“Thanks.”

The Gatorade definitely helped cool down the fire from the tequila. When I looked at Kael, I could tell he was not impressed with my little tantrum, but now that the liquor had moved to my head, I wanted more. I guessed this was how people became addicted to alcohol. With only one drink everything felt less serious—Kael’s annoyance was kind of funny, Mendoza’s mood made more sense to me, and Gloria’s patience with her husband was even more impressive.

“How’s Fischer?” Mendoza asked us. “I tried to call him after his dad said he was a free man, but he didn’t pick up.”

Mendoza quietly noticed me eyeing the bottle of tequila. He looked at Kael, then back at me, tipping it toward me. He underestimated Kael’s awareness of literally everything and I decided to ignore his judgment as I went ahead with another drink straight from the bottle.

“He’s fine. At Karina’s place with Elodie. Have you heard from Phillips?” Kael kept his composure, seemingly choosing not to try to stop me from drinking with Mendoza.

“Nope. And he’s a lucky motherfucker that I haven’t. My kids were in the house, and he brought a gun here. I better not see him again.”

“Okay.” Gloria sounded exasperated as she told me to come to the kitchen with her. “We’ll take this,” she said, grabbing the tequila and taking it with us.

I didn’t look back at Kael as I followed Gloria into the kitchen. We sat down at their dining table, Gloria on one side and me on the other. Their table was only big enough for four chairs but had five to fit their family.

“Sorry, but I couldn’t listen to them talking about Phillips anymore. That’s all Manny has been talking about since he woke up.” Gloria rubbed her fingers in a circular motion over her temples. “Here.” She slid the tequila she’d hijacked from her husband across the table to me. “Don’t get too used to that.” Her eyes fell on the bottle as I took a drink. “And for god’s sake, at least put it on some ice.”

She stood up and went to a cabinet. The cups were all mismatched and it reminded me of the way my mom always collected random plastic cups from fast-food chains and kept them. She always said that people who have matching cups and plates lived in a museum, not a home, and sitting in Gloria’s kitchen, I agreed with her. I wasn’t sure if it was the tequila or the nostalgic feeling of the house, but Gloria sort of reminded me of my mother. A more stable version of her, who would never abandon her children.

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