Page 52 of The Infinite Light of Dust

“Get her out of here! How dare you fucking be here!” she yelled, twisting in Kael’s arms.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said calmly. Kael squeezed her into a hug, and she thrashed harder.

“If I get my hands on her, it’s fucking over!” Gloria screamed.

The look in her eyes as Kael dragged her away from me and down the hall was heartbreaking. She hated me, and I couldn’t blame her.

I made my way out of the hospital. No one came after me—why would they? Step after step, I felt like a robot, unable to coordinate my moves, tripping over my feet but somehow able to keep going. I made it to the parking lot and realized I didn’t know how I had even gotten here, not just to the lot, but the hospital. I grabbed my keys and pressed the unlock button to find my car. Not a sound. I tried my damnedest to remember how I’d gotten here. Kael’s truck was there, and I moved toward it. I didn’t have a key, but even sitting by it would give me some sort of grounding. As soon as I made it there, I heard my father’s familiar voice calling my name. I was so lightheaded that I couldn’t tell if it was him. I ran my hands over my chest and torso to make sure I was awake.

His arms wrapped around me, and I closed my eyes, a dizzying feeling rushing over me like waves. I could hear myself vomiting but didn’t feel anything as my body lurched and lurched.

When I woke up, I was in my old room. There was a candle burning and a space heater next to the bed. A tray of food was on the dresser next to my bed, untouched. My eyes felt heavy, and it took me a few seconds to remember why I was so out of it. I sat up too quickly, heaving as my head spun. Estelle was there suddenly, holding a small trash can. She put it under me as I attempted to vomit. My body was empty so nothing came out, but I couldn’t stop gagging. She gently rubbed my back, making comforting noises as she caressed me.

Eventually I stopped, and she brought a glass of water to my mouth. My lips cracked as I tried to refuse, and I tasted the blood as it entered my mouth. The smell shot me straight back to Kael’s living room, back to Austin’s screams and Kael’s calls for help. My mind playing through what happened was like treading through a pool of thick mud.

“Sorry.” I coughed as the water came back up as soon as I tried to swallow it.

She smiled, soft and sad. “Try to drink a little more if you can.”

Her dark hair was pulled into a low ponytail away from her face. Her face was bare and shiny, and she wasn’t wearing any jewelry, not even earrings. I wasn’t used to seeing her so naturally. She was wearing sweats, which I was surprised she even owned a pair of. I looked around, piecing together that she was in my room taking care of me.

I didn’t know how to react to that. I took a few sips of the water she was offering and managed not to cough. The bedspread was different from my old one, and a dark heavy blanket covered my body. I touched it with my fingertips; it was heated.

“You’ve been so cold since you got here, so I plugged in the heated blanket. If it’s too hot, let me know,” she offered softly. The subtle dimple in her cheek was made more prevalent by her nervous expression.

“Thank you. Where is my brother?” I asked, closing my eyes and putting my head back on the pillow.

“He’s still at the hospital. They’ll keep him one more night, to be sure.”

“And Mendoza? Do you know anything about his condition?” I didn’t think she would, but I had to ask.

“He’s—” Estelle’s voice sounded like the words were being squeezed out one by one. “He’s alive, but as of now, he’s paralyzed.”

I shot up, ignoring the screaming pain in my head. “What?”

What Gloria had screamed at me made sense now. He would never walk again. Oh my god.

“It might change, it’s too soon to call it.”

“Oh my god,” was all I managed to cry out.

Estelle brought her hand to my forehead, then to my cheeks, wiping away my tears. It shook me to the core that in one split second, with one decision made by one person, everything had changed. Mendoza had saved my brother’s life, but the idea of him never being able to play with his children, never being able to pick Gloria up and hug her . . . I got sick again.

I watched Estelle crush a pill and put it into my water, but I didn’t decline it. I would drink or take whatever she was offering if it made all of this hurt less. I needed to feel less.

“And Kael? Has he called or anything?” I was full of shame as I asked.

He had way more important stuff to worry about than me right now. His best friend had been shot by someone they’d both trusted and now one of them was paralyzed. The weight of it all was too much to bear. I couldn’t begin to imagine how Kael felt. I moved to take the blanket from my body, to look for and grab my phone, but whatever magical potion Estelle had given me was already kicking in. I felt woozy, then tired, then darkness covered my eyes and my mind as I fell into sleep.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Kael

“You need to eat.” I slid a bag of take-out burgers and fries toward Gloria. She glared at me and pushed them back.

“What good is it for your kids if you starve to death and both of their parents are fucked up?”

“Fuck you,” she growled.

---