Page 29 of The Infinite Light of Dust

Of course he wasn’t going to tell me. The details didn’t really matter anyway. What mattered was that Fischer needed to be careful; we all did.

“I’ve made many, many mistakes in my life, but this time, it’s pure spite. The less involved you are the better, but ironically, you’re the only one who can help get my kids out of here before anything escalates and my health grows—”

I didn’t have to hear the end of his sentence to know something was going on with him—something more than some melodramatic villains from his past trying to sabotage his children’s lives. The real reason he was attempting to repent was that he was going to die. I could practically smell it on him, the stench of a rotting man. I should have caught on sooner, but now it was obvious.

“Is it cancer or something else?” I asked.

He ran his hands along the edge of the steering wheel. “Tar pits. Enough about me. Can you make Karina leave with you? I can make sure Austin gets to basic before Thanksgiving, but Karina will never listen to me, as you know.” He almost smiled, and for the smallest breath, I felt a little pity for him.

What a miserable existence, what a wasted legacy, and now it was going to be cut short, leaving his relationship with his kids in limbo, even after his last breath.

Karina was not going to be able to handle his death. That was the only thing that made me wish it wasn’t coming. I wondered how much time he had and if anyone else knew.

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Like I said, you’re the only one who can help. Not help me, but help my daughter. She is going to lose her brother to distance and will be left with no one by her side, and you seem determined to stay, so all I’m asking is that you convince her to go to Atlanta with you, and soon.”

My head pounded as the rain picked up, mimicking the noise in my mind. I couldn’t guarantee that Karina would leave this place, and she 1,000 percent wouldn’t move if she knew her dad was dying.

“I can’t and won’t promise you anything, but I’ll do what I can. For her,” I finally agreed.

I needed to get out of the damn truck and have space to process this bizarre conversation, the situation with Fischer, the fact that Phillips was roaming around with a gun. As overwhelming as it all was, as I mentally listed it I shifted my process to what Sergeant Martin would do, taking the emotion out of it. I needed to come up with a plan that wouldn’t make Karina hate me, and execute it quickly.

Chapter Sixteen

Karina

“What if they keep him there?” Elodie asked, her hands clasped on her lap, knuckles white.

Her skin was a gray color, under her eyes blue and hollow. It wasn’t the time to remind her that stress wasn’t good for her baby, but it was so hard not to.

“They won’t. Kael will figure it out. He always does.”

“This is all my fault. God, how do things keep getting worse, Karina?”

I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Her skin was icy to the touch, increasing my anxiety. There wasn’t a single thing I could do or say to make sense of any of this, and she was right—everything kept getting freaking worse. Nearly daily at this point.

“Things always get worse before they get better, Elodie. We will figure it all out, Kael will handle it, and my brother will be fine, and worst-case, you can take my brother and run away to France.” I smiled, actually wishing that was in the realm of reality. I would miss them like crazy, but each day felt like another bomb would go off.

She almost smiled. A second later, my front door opened and Kael, followed by Austin, walked through. Relief washed over me. Elodie jumped up, wrapping her arms around my brother’s neck, and finally stopped crying.

“Are you okay?” she asked, placing her palms on either side of his cheeks and moving his head around slowly.

He laughed, as only he would, given the circumstances. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Kael took his shoes off and hesitated by the door for a moment. He didn’t make eye contact with me instantly, which he usually did. He had to be exhausted from being dragged into my brother’s shit again, but something felt off. I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t exactly be vocal about anything that was wrong. It wasn’t the time to ask him, especially not in front of an audience, so I hugged him instead. He bent his knees a little to meet me at my height and pressed his forehead against mine. I nearly melted at the intimacy of it. Until Kael, I’d never realized how starved for physical touch I was. My mother had been affectionate until she wasn’t, and my father . . . I couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged me or so much as touched my arm or brushed my hair away when it covered my eyes.

“What now?” I asked. I didn’t breathe as I fired off the questions that had been playing in my head for the last few hours. “Are you in trouble? Did you pass or fail the drug test? Can you still be a soldier? Why did they arrest you in the first place? Where is Phillips? Did Dad—”

“Kare, oh my god.” Austin rolled his eyes, drooping his shoulders like he was fifteen and had gotten caught shoplifting, again.

“Don’t ‘Kare’ me, Austin. We have been worried to death and you’re acting like nothing happened. We need answers.” I looked at Elodie for backup, but with one glance I could tell her alliance was with my brother.

“Let me at least take a shower and eat before you interrogate me,” my brother teased. “But seriously, everything is okay. It was a mix-up and I’m not in any trouble,” he explained.

I swear the house could be on fire and my brother would sit on the couch and play freaking Xbox. Nothing ever seemed to bother him, and aside from Phillips’s behavior toward Elodie last night, Austin floated through life without a care in the world. Must be fucking nice. I stared a hole into his back, cussing him out mentally as he walked down the hallway and went into the bathroom. The sound of rushing water filled the room, and Elodie turned to Kael.

“Is he really okay?” she asked, her brows scrunched together as she leaned toward him as if she was examining him.“Tu vas bien?”

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