Page 26 of The Infinite Light of Dust

“Unless you want to trade places with him,” Lt. Fischer threatened me as I tried to coerce the girls to leave with me.

“Are you threatening him right now? Seriously?” Karina snapped at her father. I gently gripped her tighter and watched the resolve slowly wash over her.

The look on his face told me that he had a lot to say, but he kept his thin lips in a harsh line.

“I fucking hate him,” she told me as she held Elodie’s hand, leading her out of the building. “God, I fucking hate him.”

Since she was in no position to drive, Elodie left her car parked in the lot of the MP station and I drove the two of them back to Karina’s house. When we pulled up, Elodie and Karina were speaking so rapidly that I zoned out while we walked up the grass, onto the porch, and I unlocked the door, leading them inside. They sat down on the couch, instantly embracing each other, and Karina called off of work for the day. Elodie was already scheduled to be off, but Karina explained to Mali that she was dealing with a family emergency. I didn’t want to urge Karina to work while all of this was going on, but I did worry about her cutting her hours because of how tight she’d mentioned money had been lately.

I knew better than to offer to help her, but, damn, I wanted to. There was no way in hell she would take my money, or even borrow it, and I wanted to keep my body parts intact, so I kept my mouth shut whenever she groaned at her electric or water bill. The struggle between respecting her independence and wanting to make her life easier wasn’t an easy one. In fact, I fucking hated it. Maybe I could accidently drop a couple hundred bucks in her purse and play dumb when she found it? Or leave it in an old purse of hers in the closet and hope she came across it? If she wasn’t so in tune with me and the expressions I make when trying to lie, I would.

To give Karina and Elodie a little bit of privacy, I moved to the kitchen and pulled out my phone. I texted Mendoza to see if he knew what the hell had happened. My finger hovered over Phillips’s name, contemplating whether it would make shit worse if I called him. The scabs on my knuckles were raw and dry, and as my mind traveled back to last night, I could taste the faint metal of Phillips’s blood as it splattered across my face and mouth. I licked my lips and dropped my phone onto the counter. While I waited for Mendoza to reply, I opened Karina’s fridge to see what I could throw together to feed them. She had to be hungover as hell and in need of some damn food. And Elodie was pregnant—she needed to keep her strength up.

Karina didn’t have much, some green bell peppers, half an onion, some ground beef. I opened her small pantry and got out a box of instant rice and thanked god she had some seasonings outside of salt and pepper. As the beef browned and sizzled with the onions in the pan, I poured in a carton of chicken stock and checked my phone again. Two missed calls from Mendoza. I tried him back and he picked up on the first ring.

“What the fuck is going on, man?” he asked.

I glanced into the living room, turned the element down on the stovetop, and stepped toward the back door to shield at least some of my voice from the girls.

“I don’t fucking know. Fischer is being held at the MP station on Wold Avenue. They picked him up from my place this morning but no one will tell me a fucking thing. And Lt. Fischer showed up there. Fischer’s not even at basic yet—something’s up and Phillips is at the center of it, that much is clear.

“Did he stay with you?” I asked.

“Nah. I don’t know when he left or with who. Shit went crazy and everyone left before the police got there. I don’t know where his ass slithered off to. You haven’t heard from him?”

“Not a fucking word.”

Mendoza let out a sigh. “Maybe he’s dead and we can all go back to our regularly scheduled programming.”

I laughed, kind of wishing it was true.

“But for real, what are going to do about Fischer? We can’t just leave him there. Did his shitbag sperm donor say he was going to at least get him out?”

“If he passes a drug test.” My response came out more unsure than I meant it to.

“He will. I mean it, bro. He’s been clean as a goddamn whistle lately. No way in hell he’s failing a drug test right now.”

“You’re sure?” I hated to doubt Fischer, but I wasn’t a fucking idiot and I had seen him higher than a cloud on many occasions.

“Yep. Positive. The last time he smoked was weeks ago. Since he’s become all domestic with Elodie, he’s gotten his shit together. I wouldn’t be surprised if his old man tries to rig it, though.”

“The test?” I asked, knowing exactly what Mendoza meant but not wanting to acknowledge that as a possibility.

“Fuck. Let me call my old platoon leader and see if he can get me an update. But we know what their father is capable of.” His deep voice shook on the other line, and I swallowed.

We both knew that better than anyone, and Mendoza not using his name wasn’t lost on me.

I put my phone into my pocket and made sure the ringer was on while I finished making something that resembled dirty rice. I filled two bowls all the way to the top and shoved a spoon into each. My appetite was nowhere to be found, but it smelled good as fuck. I knew Karina’s tastebuds enough by now to know she would love it, and the look on her face when I handed her the bowl proved me right.

“Any update?” Karina asked me as soon as I stepped into the living room.

I shook my head.

“I don’t want to hear that you’re not hungry. Both of you eat, now,” I insisted. “Please,” I added with a fake smile to make my command more of a suggestion, but if they didn’t, I would spoon-feed the two of them myself.

“Thank you.” Elodie’s voice was quiet but she pushed a spoonful into her mouth and closed her eyes as she chewed. “I was so hungry but didn’t notice.”

Karina’s eyes were tired, but the way she looked at me made me forget, just for a moment, the massive shitshow we were all in the middle of.

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