Page 52 of Secret Twins for the Orc

He takes a deep breath, and suddenly his gaze is steady and intent. “I want you, too.”

And this is where my overwhelming tumble of emotions came crashing over me, and the noise in my brain takes over. Slowly, I draw my fingers from his, because I can’t think straight when he’s touching me.

His lips press together as he watches me pull away, and after a long, long moment, he sits back in his chair.

“Rhokar…”

He looks away, and his jaw ticks. My heart plummets at the sight, at the look on his face, like he just lost something. I clear my throat, and will my voice to steady.

“Rhokar,” I try again. “I’m not saying no, okay?”

He huffs through his nose, and his voice is rough. “But you’re not saying yes.”

“It’s just…what if we’re too volatile?” His gaze makes its way back to me, and his jaw continues to twitch as if he can’t stop clenching it. I don’t like to see him like this, if I’m honest with myself. But for years I’ve been afraid of committing, and it seems like it’s been the same way for him. I worry I’m not good enough to be loved, and apparently, so does he. It’s… “Rhokar, we’re too similar, I think. We’re both headstrong, both stubborn, and apparently, we have similar emotional hang-ups. We blow up too quickly. Misunderstand each other too easily. We both have a little too much pride and a little too short of a temper.”

He snorts, and a self-deprecating smile twitches against his tusks.

“Look at how many ups and downs we’ve gone through already, and it’s only been a few weeks. And the kids haven’t even been thrown into the mix yet.”

His eyes slide back across to the twins, who are both busy ripping all the napkins into a thousand tiny pieces and muttering incomprehensibly to each other. Neither of us do anything to stop them, allowing the kids their distraction for now.

“I can’t deny our chemistry, but I think we’re both trying to jump into this too quickly. I’m not saying no to us, Rho, but…”

He nods sharply, once, and I let my words die away.

Several minutes pass as we both sit in silence, absorbing the conversation we’ve just had, until I eventually sigh and begin to clear up the mess the toddlers have made.

“Come on, babies,” I say once I’m done, Rhokar’s still in the same position as if he doesn’t notice the world around him right now. “Let’s get you home and get some dinner in you, how does that sound?”

I stand to unbuckle them, but as I lift Rylah, who’s closest to me, I pause with her in my arms and take a considering look at Rho, a thought floating through my mind.

I don’t want to cut him off. And I don’t want him to look so sad.

Even if we don’t work out as a couple, we can still create something good for the kids.

“Rhokar, would you like to join us for dinner?”

Finally, he seems to stir from his thoughts and looks over at me. “What?”

“I was thinking pasta tonight,” I continue, as I turn to get Rylah back in the stroller. “I’ve got some chicken in the fridge, but if you’re joining us it might not be enough. Maybe you could grab some more on your way over to mine? It won’t take me more than twenty minutes to cook.”

He’s frowning at me as I turn for Rowan, and again, for no reason at all, I feel nervous. “Unless you’re, uh, busy?”

Maybe he needs some time away from us. Maybe me not giving him a direct ‘yes’ has made him feel…

“Not too busy for you,” he says, standing suddenly and reaching for my hand, stopping me from lifting Rowan so that he can do it himself. “Never too busy for you.”

I can’t help the way my breath pulls in sharply at his touch, at the way he looks at me, and he finally lets another small smile lift his features as he lifts our boy into his arms.

“I’ll be there, Ella. Tell me what else you need.”

And I know he’s talking about food for tonight, but somehow, it feels like he’s offering a whole lot more.

Chapter 19

Rhokar

I stand before Ella’s front door, feeling an odd, fluttering sensation below my diaphragm.

---