“I came to the park early to wait for you. I thought it would be good to get some of Rylah’s extra energy out before she met your parents and—and I had them here in the play area, they were right here. I was talking with one of the mothers there for a little while, it was barely any time at all, and then next thing I know they’re gone. They’re in the woods, I know it. I can’t find them, I tried calling out, but they didn’t respond!”

My hand grips the back of my chair so hard that it cracks beneath my fist, and my heart rips painfully against my chest.

“I’m coming, stay right where you are.”

“I found Rylah’s little shoe, I’m going to go further in to look…”

“No!” I bark, and then take a steadying breath and swipe my car keys off the table, sending a brief glance at my father, who’s watching me with growing alarm on his face. “I’m not losing you in there too. Wait for me right where you are. I’ll find you, and then we’ll find the twins together. Understood?”

She takes a deep, shaky pull of air, and I hear the sound of rustling foliage continue.

“Focus, Ella. Focus on my voice.” She takes another panicked breath and continues moving, and I squeeze my keys in my fist. “Stop walking.”

The immediate sounds of crunching leaves stop, and I let out a relieved breath. “Do you trust me?”

The faint sob she makes tears at my chest. “Yes.”

“Then stay where you are, alright, sweetheart?”

“Alright…”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

I take a deep breath and move towards the front door. “I’m coming for you. We’ll find them together.”

Chapter 22

Ella

The woods loom around me, dim in the afternoon light and filled with sounds of life. But the sounds are doing anything but soothing my anxiety. The buzzing of insects grates at my skull, the chirp of birds mocking and hollow, the whistling of the wind in the leaves, an ominous whisper telling me that my children are lost, lost in the massive Boise National Park.

I’m barely a quarter of a mile deep, but I already feel turned around in my panic and if I’m totally honest, I’m not even sure whether I’d be able to make it back out on my own right now or not.

Rylah’s little sneaker is clutched desperately in my hands as I wait for Rhokar. I call out the twins’ names over and over again, hoping they’ll somehow hear me this time. That they’ll come back to me.

I’m a terrible mother. I’m a horrible, bad, useless mother. How could I have let this happen? How did it all happen so quickly? They were there, they were right there,and then they were just gone.

Liv didn’t notice her baby leaving either, not until the last second.

But she did notice, an ugly voice whispers inside me. She noticed before she lost her baby. She isn’t a bad mother.

I fight back the tears as valiantly as I can, trying to calm my breathing and re-organize my thoughts, which are scattered and wild. I can’t even think straight, the panic clawing at my throat urging me to move, to run forward blindly and find my kids.

But Rhokar’s steady, authoritative command for me to stay put echoes in my thoughts, grounding me.

He’ll come, Rhokar will be here soon. I know he will.

My phone rings, and I snap it up to my ear without even looking at who it is. “Rhokar?”

“I’m near, Ella. I saw your car. Tell me where you entered the forest.”

“I, um—d-directly in front of the sand pit.” I do my best to settle the building hysteria inside me so I can give clear, logical responses, but it’s beyond difficult. “I was standing at the sand pit looking at the forest, and I just went straight across the clearing. I wasn’t even thinking, I just…just…”

“I’ve caught your scent,” he says with a calm, determined voice. “I’m coming. Don’t move.”

“I… Th-there are more people in here looking, I think,” I stutter, not wanting to lose the connection to him. “Liv got her baby, she didn’t want to come in with Tori, but her husband was nearby and he’s looking. Maybe others, too. I can’t remember who else is looking, I…”