Page 51 of Secret Twins for the Orc

I take a deep breath, my words stuttering to a stop at the unwavering command in his voice, and I watch as he draws my hand onto the table to sit dwarfed inside his big green palm.

“Why would you think you’re unlovable?”

“Because nobody stays,” I find myself whispering back, without meaning to. “I always try so hard, but I’m in my forties and still alone. Even marriage doesn’t seem to help.”

“You were married?”

“Once,” I say looking down at our hands, where he seems to be gripping me as if afraid I’ll pull away. “But we couldn’t have kids, and he didn’t love me enough to overcome that, I guess. Maybe I’m too much. Too career driven, too brash, not feminine or gentle or, I don’t know, submissive enough to make me worth staying for. There has to be a reason.”

“You seem plenty submissive to me,” he whispers, his fingers slipping around to thread through mine.

I make a little choking sound as I look into his dark eyes, my mind immediately thrown to Saturday night as a shiver runs down my spine and straight to my panties.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the perfect woman,” he continues quietly, and my breath stops entirely as his eyes flick back and forth between mine. “Beautiful. Capable and efficient at work. Dedicated to your children. Able to juggle being a single mother with your career. Able to handle me, to stand your ground when you need to, and to bend when I need it—and yes, I do know how difficult I can be.” His lips lift in a sad half-smile around his tusks, and my heart basically melts into a puddle of goo. “I’m sorry I’m so…grumpy all the time.”

“Oh, that doesn’t truly bother me.” I shrug, and he blinks as if surprised, his brows lifting again. But if he’s about to say anything in reply, he doesn’t manage as we’re interrupted by a loud, metallic clang. We both jerk our heads towards the twins to see Rylah holding a fistful of napkins, triumphantly throwing them in the air as Rowan giggles and claps his hands at her chaos.

“So you’ve got an attitude,” I continue, unfazed as I begin to scoop up the fluttering napkins. “What of it? So do I. You’re also perfectly capable of smiling, of being gentle and thoughtful, I’ve seen it. And anyway, you’re kind of funny when you’re being a bastard, sometimes.”

He looks a bit stunned as he surfaces from where he bent to pick up the metal holder that had been thrown to the ground.

“I’m funny?”

I huff in amusement and messily shove the napkins back into the holder. “Hilarious.”

He blinks several times. “Really?”

That gets a chuckle out of me, and I roll my eyes. “Rhokar, your stupid Hulk personality is great, okay? Even when you’re being annoying. But—”

He lunges across the table again and grabs my hand once more, squeezing my fingers between both of his palms tightly. “Stop there.”

Now it’s my turn to blink at him in surprise.

His lips twitch upwards, but it’s a half-hearted attempt at best. “Don’t finish that sentence. Let’s just leave it at that.” As if he thinks that my ‘but’ will turn into something he might not be able to come back from.

I sigh, because we haveto talk about the negatives. We can’t just ignore it. “Rho…”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and I distantly notice a repetitive clang as Rylah gets her little hands on the napkin holder and bashes it around, but I find myself too caught in his gaze to care right now. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did on Sunday. I’m sorry I said what I said. You didn’t deserve my harsh words, or my accusations. I reacted badly.”

I look between his two broad palms swamping my hand, and his earnest expression. A little more tension leaves me. “I’ve been told what it means in your culture, to keep your children away from you. I’m—”

But he interrupts me again with a shake of his head. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. I was…”

He curls his hands so that the fingers of both hands sit at my palm, both thumbs on the back of my hand rubbing small circles, and he draws my hand closer to himself as he stares down at my knuckles.

“I was almost married, once,” he says after a long moment.

“I know,” I reply, with a little guilt. “Sorry, this town is kind of gossipy.”

He huffs and briefly meets my gaze without accusation. “I know.” But then his eyes slip back down again, and his smile fades once more. “She left me, and I still don’t know why. She was just gone one day. How many things did she hide from me? How many thoughts, how many unsaid emotions and unfulfilled wants did she harbor in her heart? Did she grow to hate me? Did she have a secret lover, a desire for something I wasn’t giving her, did I do something wrong? I don’t know, and never will. So when I realized you’d been hiding something so big from me, it hit me hard. I assumed the worst. I assumed it was because of a fault of mine, that you weren’t telling me because…because I wasn’t good enough for you. For our children. I reacted badly, Ella. I’m sorry.”

Not good enough?

My throat feels tight as I stare at him, and I struggle to keep my own emotions in check. His voice is raspy as he speaks, and he still hasn’t looked up at me.

“I want these children in my life. I want my kids very, very much.” His fingers squeeze around mine, and he finally draws his eyes to me. “I’m not a man to beg, Ella, but for this I will. I want to be there for my kids, to provide for them, to take care of them. I want to help. Please don’t cut me off from them.”

“I would never,” I whisper, unable to make my voice work properly as I feel the back of my eyes stinging with tears. “I’m so sorry I waited so long to tell you, but I really wasgoing to let you know. I was going to tell you before the kids arrived, but Grace showed up early. I swear it.”

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