Page 50 of Secret Twins for the Orc

“You scared me half to death!” I barely refrain from stomping my foot as my heart jolts. How the hell did he get here so freaking quickly? “What have I told you about sneaking around and scaring people?”

His brows raise. “I thought you had an issue with my stomping, not my sneaking.”

“You stomp…sneakily,” I huff, before tipping my chin haughtily and spinning the stroller around on my own.

He looks about ready to say something else, but his eyes dart down to the twins, and I feel his fingers twitch at my back. Instead of sniping back at me, he turns and demands for the server to bring two highchairs as we head to his table, and he fusses, refusing to sit as I get them settled.

I’ve got Rylah in my hands, who’s wriggling around like usual, not cooperating with her feet to get in the highchair, and I huff. “Come on, sweetie, we both know you prefer sitting up here instead of staying in the stroller.”

“Up!” she squeaks happily, kicking her feet even more uncooperatively. “Up!”

Rhokar is frowning, as per usual. But he hasn’t sat down, and his hands keep making abrupt movements forward, as if he wants to help but isn’t sure how.

I eye him for a moment, and then nod towards Rowan, who’s sitting chill as anything, watching us. “Grab him and pop him in the other chair for me, will you?”

Rhokar blinks, eyes darting between me and the stroller. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, why not? You’re not going to break him.” I turn away, pretending to leave him to it. But I watch in the reflection of the window beside us, and my heart flutters at the careful, hesitant way he crouches down to unbuckle and lift my son.

Our son, I mentally correct.

Then he stands, holding him a couple of inches away from his chest like he has no idea what to do, and I see him pause, staring at the little boy in his arms. Rowan lifts a chubby hand, and grabs onto the stray strand of hair that’s fallen out of his man-bun. Rhokar doesn’t do anything about it.

I finish with Rylah, who’s already distracted trying to reach for the napkins on the table, and I turn to bat my son’s little arm away. I try mightily to suppress my smile as I push him into Rhokar’s chest, pretending I need room to come around to the other side of the highchairs as I pass them.

I could swear I hear Rhokar’s breath hitch. When I turn back around, he has his arms tight around his son, and is still staring intently into his chubby, little face. I give them a second, and when Rhokar’s eyes flick over to me he clears his throat and comes forward, ever so carefully slipping the unresistant boy into his chair.

We sit, and there’s a silence.

I’m already thinking about how handsome Rhokar is, as he stares once more at our kids. About how good he looks with a child in his arms, how it might feel to see him hold a newborn…and this makes my smile slip, and worry cloud my thoughts instead. I’m so easily swayed when I’m in his presence. Is that a good thing? Or bad? I don’t even know.

I let out a forlorn breath, feeling myself starting to get overwhelmed with uncertainty again, and I press my fingers lightly into my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Rhokar murmurs quietly, and when I look again his eyes are focused on me.

But for once, I don’t know how to respond. I can only shrug my shoulders helplessly.

He leans back, eyes flicking once more towards the twins, and then out of the blue he asks softly, “Why didn’t you tell me about them?”

I take a sharp breath and feel my expression shift again, but he shakes his head, and his brows furrow in what looks suspiciously like concern.

“I know you told me,” he continues quietly. “I know. Please, for my sake…please tell me again.”

I let the breath out slowly and study him. His expression is open, his shoulders slumped, and something about him feels vulnerable, somehow.

I relent. “I was scared, Rhokar. Scared of how you’d react. Scared that you might reject them, reject us. I don’t know what else to say.” I hug my arms around my torso and bite my lip, unsure if I should continue, but in the end, I decide on complete honestly. “It’s one thing if I couldn’t find you, you know? If I raised them on my own because I didn’t know where you were. But it’s another thing entirely if you didn’t want us. If you’re right here, right within reach, and I still had to do it by myself. That would be worse.” I let out a breath. “I wanted to tell you, but I was a coward. I waited too long.”

I watch as his thick green fingers slowly curl into a fist, before loosening again. “Why wouldn’t I want you?”

I shrug again. “What if I’m unlovable?”

I cringe as soon as the words are out of my mouth, and my eyes shoot back up to his face. I hadn’t meant to say that! What dark, hidden recesses of my soul had that even dragged itself up from? I bite my lip harder and let out a groan. “God, that was so pathetic.”

“Ella…”

“Ugh, Rho, see this is exactly why—”

He leans abruptly forward in his seat, stretching his massive arm across the table and forcing my hand from around my torso so he can squeeze it, and frown intensely at me. “Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss your pain.”

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