Page 73 of Beautifully Devoted

“We need to talk to the police about your dad. Coach too, I think.”

Jagger cocks his head to the side as he looks my way. “What for? I don’t think they can do anything about attempted blackmail. Besides, he knows I won’t give him anything, so he’ll probably just move on.”

I shake my head slowly back and forth, never taking my eyes off the road. “If he was just looking for a handout that might be true, but I think it’s more than that, Kitcat.”

“What do you mean?” Now, his palm feels sort of sweaty, and I can only hope that’s not a sign of how he’ll react to what I’m about to tell him.

“My dad’s been keeping tabs on him for years. I have no idea what he’s been up to,” I rush to assure him. “I didn’t want to have to keep secrets from you, so I told my dad I didn’t want to know what he found out. But whatever Jeremy’s gotten into it’s bad enough that my dad made me promise to let him know if he ever approached us.”

Jagger’s grip on my hand loosens, but he doesn’t pull away. “Your dad knows where he’s been this whole time?”

I shake my head firmly. “No. I don’t think so, anyway. More like he’d get updates after the fact, and each time he got one I’d get a reminder to let him know if we ever saw your dad. The first few years he never said anything, and I’m guessing that’s because no one knew where your dad went. But when we were thirteen my dad asked if I remembered what Jeremy looked like and told me to let him know if I saw him. He’s probably mentioned it another five or six times since then.”

“You didn’t think I’d want to know about that? To have some word about him?” Jagger’s voice is steady but soft, like he can’t quite decide if he’s offended or not.

“The word wouldn’t have been good, Kitcat. I didn’t want to put you through that. Maybe I shouldn’t have made that decision for you, but after what just happened, I’m pretty sure anything we might’ve learned about your dad over the years would’ve just caused you more pain.”

I have to let go of Jagger’s hand to pull into the driveway, but when I park the car and turn it off it’s right where I left it, on the armrest, so I take it and lace our fingers together.

“Do you forgive me?” I ask, brushing my thumb over the back of his.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “It’s a lot to take in, but I think you’re probably right. It would’ve fucked me up even more to get updates about him.”

“You know you aren’t fucked up, right?”

“You’re my best—my boyfriend. You have to say that.” He gives me a feeble smile.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Kitcat.” I cup his face with my free hand and bring his lips to mine for a gentle kiss. “You’re perfect. Don’t ever question that.” I kiss him again, lingering long enough that I feel his tension start to evaporate.

“How do we do this?” Jagger breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “Do we go to the police station or…”

“Let’s call my dad.” I pull out my phone and put it on speaker so he can hear everything I do. “Dad,” I say when he answers. “Jagger’s here with me. We just ran into Jeremy leaving the store, and he’s trying to blackmail us.”

“Blackmail you with what?”

It’s a logical question, and one I should’ve anticipated if I was thinking clearly, but a lot of shit got packed into the last twenty-four hours, which is making me emulate Jagger’s I have no process, process.

Predictably, it doesn’t work the same way for me that it does him, so I’m not prepared to answer since it means coming out, which sort of thought I’d do with more grace. And in person.

Watching me short-circuit has Jagger biting his lips to suppress his laughter, and I want to shove him to shut him up, but my limbs are frozen.

“Cameron, blackmail you with what?” my dad repeats in a drastically higher pitch.

“An intimate video.” Jagger collapses into a fit of laughter.

“You made a sex tape?” my dad hollers.

“What?” I find my voice “No. Jagger’s… He’s making it sound worse than it is.” I regain control of my arm and give him a shove, muttering, “Dumbass.”

“Sorry, Mr. Blair. I couldn’t resist.” Jagger flashes me one of his devious grins, and while I’m a little salty that he probably caused my dad to have heart palpitations, at least I know if he’s fucking with me, he really does forgive me for keeping that stuff about his dad a secret.

“What the hell is going on?” My dad’s clearly reached the limit of his patience, so I clear my throat and hope I don’t give him another shock. Even though he won’t care about me being bi, I doubt he’s expecting that to be what I have to tell him.

“So, uh. Jagger and I are sort of dating, and last night, Jeremy recorded us kissing at a bar. He’s threatening to post it unless Jagger gives him fifty grand.”

“If you’re kissing in public, I assume you’re not in the closet, so why is he trying to use that as blackmail?”

“You’re not going to comment about us dating?” Jagger asks, and I shoot him a confused look, but he just lifts a shoulder.

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