Page 37 of Beautifully Devoted

“Cool. Dinner later?”

“Yep, I’ll find you when I’m done.”

As Cam shuts my door and retreats to my room, I give myself a mental high five. And that’s how you add sex to friendship without making it weird.

That was a fuckton easier than I thought it would be, and totally worth it given the epic scale of the orgasm I just had.

Although, now I’m a little sidetracked by the idea that foreskin is the most intriguing part of the human anatomy, because…damn.

I’ll still write about thumbs, though.

Cameron

My hands are shaking by the time I make it back to my room.

I’m not sure why they were still in front of Jagger when they’re anything but right now. I’m just grateful my body waited for some privacy before freaking out.

I showed my dick to my best friend.

I held his.

We came all over each other.

It was the best orgasm of my life.

That last thought is the one making me jittery, since it suggests sex will never be the same again, and as for what that means for my friendship with Jagger… Shaky hands are probably only the start.

I want to believe this doesn’t change anything, and in some ways, I think that can be true. We cracked a few jokes right afterward, which felt normal despite the fact those jokes were about how much cum we created, so on the surface it seems like we’re both treating this as no big deal. A scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours type of favor, like rubbing each other’s shoulders after a hard practice and razzing each other for being pussies for being so sore.

Plus, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen Jagger’s junk or watched him come. Maybe if those boundaries hadn’t already been breached it’d be different, but a lot of what happened in that room wasn’t new or novel. Jagger’s seen me give it a tug a few times before sticking it in a woman, and I’ve seen people treat his foreskin like it’s the most fascinating thing they’ve ever seen. So, in a lot of ways, there’s nothing remarkable about what we did.

Unless you factor in the little detail about that being the best orgasm I’ve ever had, and there wasn’t a female in sight. It was just me and Jagger.

Even that wouldn’t phase me if I thought we could keep this to a friends-with-benefits type of arrangement, but factoring in my little freak out the other day when I almost passed out from fear of not being able to see him daily after college, what just happened might not stay in the FWB column. Not for me, anyway.

There’s a reason I’ve been steadfast in keeping some separation between Jagger and my bisexuality. I always knew if I let myself believe it could happen, I’d fall hopelessly in love with him.

You could make the case that I already am—platonically. Though, as Liam pointed out, he doesn’t think it ends there. It does, but that doesn’t mean it can’t morph into a romantic thing if my heart sees an opening.

Right now, I think I’m still in a safe place. All we did was satisfy a little curiosity. We took away some of the fear of the unknown. And now, if we choose to explore things with anyone else, we aren’t going in blind. If we leave it at that, I’ll be okay. I’ll be able to keep the physical and emotional in two separate boxes.

Although… I can’t even begin to entertain the thought of hooking up with anyone else given the images of Jagger running through my mind.

Collapsing onto my bed, I close my eyes and replay the last thirty minutes of my life.

Jagger’s thick, dark hair flopping over his forehead, a vibrant contrast to a set of green eyes that were nearly iridescent with lust as they tracked over my body. Chiseled torso, coiled taught, as he tried to control his breathing. Warm air passing between his full lips and ghosting over mine. And his rigid cock, kissing the tip of mine where it was cocooned in his silky heat.

Fuck, I’m gonna end up hard again.

The irony is, this is far from the first time I’ve thought Jagger was sexy. I’ve always known that about him, and I’ve never hesitated to admit that to myself. It’s just a fact, like the sky being blue or the grass being green.

I just never fixated on that, though. I never felt a desire to act on my attraction, either. Maybe I sort of wondered about it when he asked to see my dick that first time, even going so far as to declare I’d prefer he explore any curiosity he might feel with me instead of someone who might not take care of him the way I do. But it was never something I expected to come to fruition. And I damn sure never expected to find his sexiness directed at me.

But damn… Being the object of his focus is a thrill like no other. His green eyes are sort of intense when he’s using them for something as benign as sharing an inside joke, but to express desire…

Hot.

As.

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