Page 25 of Beautifully Devoted

“I’m hoping you don’t have a nut allergy.” Aiden hands me a bag of peanuts and a drink. “And I think I remember hearing orange juice is supposed to be good when your sugar’s low.”

“Thanks.” I uncap the juice and take several large swallows.

“Does that happen often? Getting dizzy after a workout?”

“First time.” I lower my eyes to the bag of nuts in my hand, breathing in their salty aroma to clear the fog in my mind. “I usually go straight home and have a protein shake.” A shake that I share with Jagger, since he goes straight to the shower and would forget about it completely.

I wonder if he got one today? If he’s feeling foggy from not eating after a workout, or experiencing the weight of the two of us being in two different places.

“Does the juice help?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” I take a few more sips and eat a handful of nuts, which if nothing else gives me something to do other than freak out about the fact that if I’m not with Jagger, if I’m not taking care of Jagger, I don’t know what to do with my life

Is it better to start preparing for that eventuality now, or live in denial until the last conceivable second, doubling down to spend as much time with him as possible?

Maybe he’s already made that call, and making himself scarce is his way of hinting that it’s time we start functioning like two different people.

Screw that.

He doesn’t get to decide that without me. We have two, maybe three years before we’ll be forced to decide where we want our lives to go, and I don’t plan on spending that time slowly pulling away from the most important person in my life just so it’ll be easier to handle being away from each other when the time comes.

I’m not letting go yet.

Jagger

He fucking left.

I said I wanted to edit these videos—something I’m shit at doing, which Cam knows—and he still went with Aiden to see a damn robot. Who cares that he invited me to go too? Like I want to be the third wheel in their little let’s pet each other’s dicks party.

Good for Cam for exploring and all, but I don’t need to see that. I’m no voyeur. And he can do whatever he wants on his own time.

No, fuck that.

He can hook up with someone at a party like a normal person instead of taking up our time to chase dick. And he damn sure doesn’t have to pretend to be into robots to get some action. Unless he wants to do more than just hook up.

Please God, don’t make him want that. I’m not ready to share him with someone else.

Discarding my changes, which only consisted of putting my logo on the beginning of the clip but for some reason isn’t going away with the same swirly flare Cameron gets it to do, I slam the lid of the laptop down with a groan. A robot would probably be better at this than I am.

“You know they can break if you’re that rough with ‘em.” I look up to find Cam leaning casually against the doorframe, and the agitation that was starting to take over begins to dissipate. Somewhat.

“What if it’s already broken?”

“Is that what’s going on here or are you stuck and blaming the computer for what you don’t know how to do?”

Fuck him for seeing through me. Also, thank God he’s here.

“Will you just make the logo do that swirly exit thing before the video starts?”

Cameron strides to the desk with a wry smirk and opens the laptop, keying in the code we both use as a security key for all our shit. He pulls up the video, hits a few keys, and in seconds, makes the edit that I couldn’t figure out after tinkering with it for the better part of an hour.

Show off.

Leaning back in my chair, I cross my arms and huff out a grouchy, “Thanks.”

“You could’ve just waited. Just as you could’ve come with me to see the robot and did this together, like we always do.”

“Mmph.”

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