Page 99 of The Blood Queen

“We’ll make it a date. Promise.”

Anson’s expression had me waiting while he put his sister in the car. He watched until the driver pulled away.

When Anson returned, I inhaled heavily and said what was obvious. “She’s not getting any better.”

“She has good days and bad days,” he admitted.

A weight settled, making it difficult to speak. “I’m sorry.”

“Had it truly been your fault, I wouldn’t forgive you.”

I met Anson’s direct gaze. Refused to shy away from this conversation. Everything he’d feared, wanted to protect Lila from, had occurred because I’d come looking for Noa and found Lila instead. It wasn’t possible for me to stand by while she struggled to cross the street. Not when I was the ultimate cause for her disability.

“I didn’t seek her out today.”

“No, she was on the hunt.” Anson brushed at his hair. “She wanted to see what Noa looked like. But she was also looking for you, to stir up the guilt.”

“Why now?” I’d been in Westvale for over a week, and Noa close to a month.

“Who knows what goes through Lila’s head these days?”

I shifted my weight. Braced. “We’ll be leaving for the Cariboo soon. Noa will stay behind. Is she still welcome here?”

Anson tipped his head to study the cloudy sky. The snowflakes drifting.

“I talked to Lila’s doctor. Lila needs to accept the life she has, not fantasize about her life before the explosion. If she sees you moving on—that’s a dose of reality. It might trigger healing.” Then his voice lowered. “Don’t let her get into your head.”

“She’s always there, Anson.”

He slapped my shoulder. “Maybe that’s not healthy for you.” His fingers tightened before he added, “I see Noa across the way. You fecking need to talk to her.”

CHAPTER 28

Grayson

Bedisa. If she hadn’t realized I was there, I didn’t want to startle her. But as I crossed the square, as she remained silent through our mental bond, I wondered if her shields were up.

She sat at a table warmed by the outdoor heaters. Near her hand, a candle guttered, a jewel inside red glass; she’d been tracing the pattern of light cast on the table. Centered in the light was a figurine made of sticks.

I signaled to the waitress as I sat down, had Noa’s cold coffee removed. Two glasses of the Chanti she favored took the coffee’s place a minute later.

Noa said nothing. I might not even exist where she was, lost in thought. But my throat constricted each time she breathed. Was she withdrawing into the silence? Was she losing a dream? Had I destroyed… us?

I was out of my depth. Whatever I said would be wrong because everything in this moment had to come from her. What she wanted to know. Needed to hear from me. I would not sit here, telling her what to feel. What to understand.

Part of her had questioned the source of her emotions. If she could trust the mating bond, the sigils, when magic influenced her life in a way she couldn’t control. Even I had trouble putting things in an order that made sense. What the nymphs told her about the seidr magic added to the strain. The very probable connection to the Gemini Witches and all of their prophesies. The damn runes I’d inked on her skin—even those were fueled by magic she couldn’t rely on, not if it came from an ancient cycle, driven by deceit.

Then to be blindsided by my former lover in a place she’d thought was safe—I understood how betrayal worked. Denial came first, disbelief, then anger, the cutting hurt. With her faille sensitivities, every emotion was magnified. I’d never felt so impotent. Useless.

“She’s a beautiful woman, Grayson.” Her voice was remote. The lack of eye contact made it worse.

“Lila said that about you,” I admitted.

“Smart. Gracious.”

“She also said that.”

Noa picked up the wine, sampled. “She’s the perfect woman for you. Emotionally wounded. Someone you can save. A woman who understands the demands of your work and won’t complain.”

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