Page 60 of Awakening the Dhampir

I tore my gaze from the door and turned to my demon. His dark eyes caught mine. Understanding poked at my emotion-addled brain.

“You were testing him,” I accused. Damon nodded, and I saw red. “How could you do that? You know he’s struggling with his wolf over sharing me.”

I couldn’t believe Damon would do that to his best friend. It seemed so out of character for my demon.

“He needed to know,” Damon replied, as if that explained everything.

I huffed and went back to the bed. Damon let me dump three bags onto the mattress before he stepped up to my side.

“It would be cruel of me to allow him to fall even harder in love, then force him to face his wolf,” Damon said. “The sooner he and his wolf come to an agreement, the easier it will be for him.”

I crumbled the bag I’d just emptied and let his words sink in. I knew it made sense; it just seemed harsh.

“Our world is not kind.” Damon’s fingers caressed the small of my back. I’d swear he could read my mind. “Speaking of not kind. I will be giving you a tour of the fortress tomorrow.”

I dropped the ruined bag and turned around, tilting my head to meet Damon’s gaze. “How is a tour not kind?”

“Many of those who live here will not welcome you,” he replied, resting his free hand on my hip. “We spent most of last night debunking the rumors about your dhampir, but some will not be convinced no matter how much logic we force down their throats.”

“They’d be right, though,” I said. “You’re trying to convince everyone that I’m something I’m not.”

“For your safety and theirs,” he argued. “I would kill anyone who tried to hurt you because of what you are.”

I appreciated the sentiment, but I didn’t want anyone killed because of me. And I felt guilty for forcing my dhampir to hide.

Don’t worry about me, Mir said. I want to live your life, not the one where we end up dead. As long as our mates accept us, I’ll be happy.

Really?

You’d rather be hunted and killed? she asked.

I shook my head. Of course I didn’t.

“What’s wrong?” Damon asked.

“Nothing,” I said, then shook my head again. “Everything.” I stepped away from him and slowly turned around, taking in the room that would be mine for the foreseeable future. “My entire life has changed. I’ve lost my job, my home, my car, and the life I worked so hard to build. I might get some of that back, but I’ll never have the future I’d planned. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Silence filled the room. Subconsciously, I knew all those things, but I hadn’t voiced them out loud, especially the part about not knowing myself. The separate personas who defined me my entire life were gone. I kind of understood Mir’s explanation about taking their place, but I was still lost. I had so much self-doubt. While leaning on the guys seemed to be instinctual, I didn’t want to be dependent on them.

There wasn’t any way to get around that dependence, though. I needed Damon just to survive. It wasn’t like I could go to the grocery store and pick up a bottle of demon’s blood. Even if the supernatural community had a store where I could buy it, it’d probably be super expensive. It’d also send up a hundred red flags. I might as well put a post on social media outing myself.

Look at me! Buying demon’s blood by the quart because I’m a dhampir.

Now that my thoughts went down that road, Mir’s hunger surged. Her food source stood right behind me.

“My d’laej,” Damon whispered. “You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. You’ve survived so much, persevered where you should not, and still maintain a kindness that most people don’t possess. Now you have us to help you through whatever else gets in your way.”

His words should’ve made me feel better. He certainly meant them as a reassurance, but it’d take more than that to push me past all the changes. I had a feeling the guys would smother me with their protectiveness. I’d have to find the balance between support and dependence. It wouldn’t be easy for any of us.

The smell of a sweet summer rain wrapped around me and pushed away my insecurities. Kenrid always had that effect on me. His magic soothed my anxiety and made everything feel right. I wasn’t sure it was a good thing, but I really needed to get out of my own head. What used to help me function, now only made it worse.

“Wow, Elliott must have taken you to every clothing store he could find.”

Kenrid’s voice drew me to where he stood in the doorway. My feet moved without my permission, stopping just in front of him. He smiled at me, and all my worries suddenly seemed irrelevant.

This man is dangerous, Mir said, and I had to agree.

I leaned forward and let my forehead rest against his shoulder. His magic wrapped around me along with his arms, but I just leaned on him. So much for being independent.

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