Page 93 of One Lucky Cowboy

They’d been home for three nights now, judging by Jax’s truck in the driveway each evening. He left each morning, though, coming home only late at night after Jill had drifted off. Each morning, though, the truck would be loaded to the hilt with a new batch of belongings. So he was doing it, moving to Austin. Would he even bother to say goodbye?

Gander strolled in and left a rawhide at Lily’s side. He nudged it closer to her, but her eyes remained closed. Her breaths came even and slow, her belly rising.

She was close to giving birth. Any day—or hour—now. Jill’s fingers itched to call Ren and let him know, but the boy was healing and Jax hadn’t reached out. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—be the first. Not when he’d made it clear how he felt.

Besides, she had to fix things with Maggie. She had a framed photo for her as well, and no matter what, she’d be dropping it by later. Just … maybe after the truck was gone. What she had to say to her best friend, sorry being at the top of the list, she didn’t want an audience for.

“Hey, bud,” she said, rubbing Gander behind the ears. “I know we didn’t get off on the right foot with your unconventional courting of my sweet girl, but I’ve come around. You know that, right? You’re sweet to Lily, so you’re in as far as I’m concerned.”

Gander barked, a chipper sound that came with his trademark smile. Jill fed him a piece of the fish, too, but he just dropped it in front of Lily. Jill smiled, but her heart ached.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

Gander laid beside Lily and put his chin on her back. Jill’s chest throbbed. She’d laid like that on Jax’s shoulder so many times in the past couple weeks, and the intimacy of talking into the night like that, skin to skin, had changed her. She’d never be the same after her time with Jackson Marshall.

“I really messed up with him, didn’t I?” Gander snored loudly, and just like that, Jill lost the only two souls who listened to her anymore. Maggie had forgiven her for messing up with the motors, especially when Jill got it back on track after admitting that she wouldn’t ever let anything slip through the cracks again. But things weren’t the same between them. And how could they be?

She’d kept some good—but significant—changes from Maggie about how Steel Born would operate in the future. It had hurt a lot to hear Maggie’s sorrow over not being invited into the conversation. She’d made it clear she was more than just a pregnant vessel everyone was treating her like. From Bennett, she’d understood, but Jill?

Then she’d been rushed to the hospital thanks to Jill’s screwup. Her best friend had worked her whole adult life to make the company happen, then make it profitable, then turn it into the powerhouse it was in the ranching community. Jill’s mistake had stressed her out so much she’d had a panic attack and risked not only her own life since she was on bedrest but that of her baby.

And Jax? His distraction with her had almost cost him the dearest thing in his life. Ren would be okay, she heard through the grapevine that was Mae’s Bakery, but she hadn’t deserved the way he’d treated her. They’d both actively contributed to the people they were, to the relationship they’d built. She was no more to blame for Ren than he was for her missing the phone call and keeping things from Maggie.

Either way, now the CAF presentation was tomorrow, and she’d likely be going alone. If she got to go at all. Maybe Maggie would cancel and merge the two companies just to save future trouble. Jill would figure it out if that happened, but she wasn’t giving the internship program up without a fight.

She’d almost ruined everything because she liked a guy who couldn’t like her back. Future female engineers shouldn’t pay for that.

Not true. You love him, her heart said. It was just a whisper, since she had all but demanded the organ stay out of things from now on. But this, she heard.

She did love Jax; more than she’d thought possible after leaving Liam. And without any of the fear or insecurities that she’d assumed came with that kind of love.

Instead, there was respect, passion, and a deep desire to make him feel as seen as he made her feel. He’d be a good partner if they’d met at a different time or even a different place. Not that it mattered. She was leaving for the city once Maggie made a decision about the merger, and Jax was headed to Austin.

Everything she’d strived for was coming to fruition. So why wasn’t she happier?

She’d worked hard to make it happen. Harder than anyone she knew, even Maggie. Maybe giving up her parents’ offer wasn’t a good thing. What if the gift landed flat and she and Maggie never reconciled? What if Maggie never trusted her enough with the company to take over? A knock on the door roused her from her self-hosted pity party for one but did nothing to rally the dogs, who were still sound asleep. It was hard work building a family. Would she ever get that privilege?

She got up from the table, the rest of her salmon and grilled peppers untouched. It was hard to muster an appetite when she’d lost the most important people in her life, and maybe even her livelihood.

She flung open the door. “Maggie! You shouldn’t be up. What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

Jill nodded.

“And the doctor okayed me for some small walks now that I’m in the middle of my second trimester and the baby is growing.”

“That’s great.” Every cell in Jill’s body wanted to lurch forward and hug the friend she’d missed with all her heart, but she stopped. Maggie’s usual smile wasn’t there.

“Come on over to the couch.”

“Can my chauffeur come?”

Jill looked behind Maggie, and her breath stopped short in her lungs. Jax was there, in a snug black button-down shirt with silver pinstripes. Per usual, the sleeves were rolled up, those so-strong forearms on display.

A far cry from her baggy sweats and band T-shirt from a grunge concert in San Antonio. She tucked her unruly curls behind her ear, like that would solve anything about her appearance.

“How—” She cleared her throat and smoothed her shirt. “How is Ren?”