Page 65 of One Lucky Cowboy

“Hey, there, Jax. Was just talking about you,” Harvey said, his six-foot frame squeezing through the small gap in the counter as he came out to greet Jax. He’d miss Deer Creek for guys like this—people who’d known him since birth and could shoot the breeze with him about ranching and love and other hazards of life.

“Oh yeah? Only good things, I hope.”

Harvey slapped him on the back and chuckled. “Of course. Just sayin’ that what you and Ms. Henley are doing is a good thing. You’re really helping the town with that internship program.”

Guilt lodged in Jax’s throat, making it difficult to reply. So did another concern. They hadn’t announced anything officially. Maggie had an episode the other night and was hospitalized to get her heart rate down, so Jill wanted to wait to pitch the idea until she had the CAF on board. How did Harvey know?

“Um, thanks. Anyway, just here to pick up some supplies. I’ll pass on your compliment to Jill next time I see her.”

If I see her. She’d been pretty hard to pin down since he’d talked to her outside Maggie’s house that night.

“Gimme that list,” Harvey said, gesturing for the slip of paper. Before Jax could skirt away from the minefield of questions that would follow, Harvey snatched it out of his hand and looked it over. “Boots. Coveralls. Hat. Rope. Hmm. I can help with this. New ranch hand?”

“Something like that.” Jax rocked on his heels, nerves almost tipping him over. The less he said the better, since stop two was sharing his news with his mom, brother, and Maggie. The last thing he needed was the Deer Creek Telegraph—aka gossip—to reach them before he could.

“Alright, son. Let’s get to work.”

In less than fifteen minutes, Jax had everything Ren would need to survive on the ranch. He’d gone to Benson, the next town over, for toiletries, reasoning there’d be fewer prying eyes and loose lips there.

Now came the hard part.

Pulling into the ranch, he couldn’t keep the smile from his face or the tremor from his hands. His chest felt like it might crack open and release a flock of hungry doves.

The easy chatter emanating from the back of the house reverberated in his clenched jaw, making it ache. As excited as he was for a future that included his son, he was acutely aware that he was altering the world of those he loved forever. His only hope was that they’d sift through the same shock he’d felt when he’d discovered he was a father and come to the same conclusion. This was a good thing.

It’s now or never.

He waded through a minefield of memories hanging on the walls and adorning every available surface in his mom’s house on the ranch. The pride she felt in her family was evident in each photo, each award she prominently displayed. Even older photos of Matt still hung despite the years since they’d last seen Bennett and Jax’s oldest brother.

They filled him with a deep, all-encompassing love for his family—and they also stung. They constituted a life lived in each other’s orbit, and no matter where Jax and Ren went from here, they’d never have those shared moments of Ren’s childhood to cherish.

He sighed. He’d done his best to come at this with the gratitude he normally showed up to life with, but it was hard not to let the bitterness taint the edges of his newfound joy.

He’d never witnessed Ren’s first steps.

He’d never taught him how to ride a bike.

He’d never tiptoed into Ren’s room and replaced a lost tooth with treats and some coins.

Jax ran a finger along the edge of a frame showing him as he’d been in a particular moment of his childhood—toothless and grinning with a large-mouth bass spanning half his height. He’d been happy then, unmarred by time and heartache.

But just maybe, there were new things he could teach his son, new experiences they could share together. He had to believe this or the crushing weight of all he’d lost out on would cripple him.

“Well, look at you,” his mother announced when he ended up on the back patio. She cupped his cheeks and instead of her usual kiss on the forehead, she regarded him through slitted eyes. “You’re different. Something’s changed, hasn’t it?”

His jaw actually dropped. “How do you do it?” he asked.

She tossed him a knowing, tight grin and sat back down at the deck table across from a lemonade.

“A parent knows their children. Trust me, someday you’ll see.”

He swallowed hard. Would there come a time he knew Ren like that? God, he hoped so.

“Where’s Bennett and Maggie?” he asked, clearing his throat. His secret pressed against his sternum, desperate to claw its way out.

“Upstairs taking her sugar levels. They’ll be here in a minute. Can I grab you something to drink, hon?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I know where they’re at. Can I bring something back?”

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