Page 55 of One Lucky Cowboy

He swallowed hard, shut his eyes, and faced the heat of the sun above him.

“I’m not paying you to sunbathe,” Bennett’s voice cut through the guilt.

Jax opened his eyes, lethargy lingering in his limbs. It was too nice a day to be working on equipment and shoveling hay from bale to bed. What he wouldn’t give to be Manny, roping and wranglin’ like a cowboy ought to be doing. Instead, he was juggling grenades in a minefield while dodging bullets being shot at him from close range.

“Well, you can always stop payin’ me.” He stole a glance at Bennett and winced. “Sorry. I’ll get back at it. Just appreciating the turn in the weather.”

And trying not to fall apart.

“That all?”

“Yep.” No use bringing up his change of world changing news until he knew what to say.

I found out I’m a dad, but my kid is gone didn’t cut it.

He took a long draw from his canteen.

“Well, if the guy comes back, send him to me. Oh, um—I was thinking about unincorporating Marshall Brothers.”

Jax choked and spit out the water.

“’Scuse me?”

“I know you want out, and I can’t say I blame you. I’ve had you on management when you should be outside, working hands-on.”

Okay, so they were doing this now. Here. Jax scoured the side of the building in case Ren was lingering, but he didn’t see so much as an errant shadow.

“I’m working hands-on.” To emphasize his point, he hurled another haybale into the truck bed. It landed with a thud.

“You know what I mean. You’re doing this to fill in till I can get another guy on the ground. And that’s coming. But I know you’d rather be a full-time ranch hand.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“What the hell? Will you make up your mind? Because, Jesus, Jax—”

“What I mean is,” Jax interrupted, “I’m not sure I wanna be on a ranch at all.” He’d taken one look at Ren’s clothes and come to a glaring conclusion. The kid had never so much as seen a ranch up close let alone lived on one. But it was too soon to share that particular change of heart. Better for Bennett to think he wanted his freedom still. “Maybe if it was the only choice I had, what Manny’s doing for you would be the dream. But it’s not.”

In the pause while Bennett’s chest rose and fell like each breath was the way he’d like to strangle Jax, the horse in the corral stomped and neighed. Even from here, Jax could see through the cloud of dust that rose that Sassy had given in. Was that what had happened to him? Had he given into a life that he didn’t want because Matt left him no choice? And now look at those consequences.

He hadn’t wanted to be a ranch guy, and yet he was.

He hadn’t wanted to be a father, and yet he was.

He hadn’t wanted to fall for anyone he couldn’t leave behind, and yet he had.

“So, what do you want, then?”

Jax shrugged. “I actually took a job,” he said. There it was, in the open.

“Doing?” Bennett asked. His jaw was set in stone like it was carved from the canyon itself.

“A rodeo team.”

Not that it was a life for a teen boy, but then, he’d been a teenager when he’d loved that life. And it was good, quick money he could use to set up a place of his own for Ren. If the kid ever came back.

“Not a chance. You’ll die on the back of a bull the second you sit on one.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

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