Page 28 of One Lucky Cowboy

Jax’s gaze softened, and his shoulders sagged.

“Maggie’s sick, Jax. I know you’re fed up with management, but can you wait to throw your temper tantrums till she’s out of the woods?”

An awkward veil fell over Jill as tension filled the open-air arena. This was between the brothers. She should let them talk out whatever bigger issue was behind Jax’s sudden death wish.

She moved toward the edge of the corral, the mare barely offering her a sideways glance. Just before she could duck back out, a hand landed on her shoulder.

Warmth spread from the point of contact, eradicating the cold she’d felt since seeing Jax on the back of that horse.

“Hey,” he said, turning her around to face him. His voice did the same as his touch, helping erase any hint of chill. “I’m sorry about that. I was waiting till I heard you were back.”

“It wasn’t about the time, Jax. That horse was dangerous, and you acted—you always act—like you don’t have a care in the world.”

His chin dipped along with his gaze. She didn’t know how he always acted, but she couldn’t help the emotions flooding her bloodstream, making it hard to breathe.

“I know. And I’m trying to figure out why. It’s not like I want to piss off the people I love, but I can’t sit by and watch my life pass me by, either.”

She settled her hands on her hips. She couldn’t believe she’d ever considered having an affair with the same type of man she’d sworn off years ago. Nothing had changed since then.

“Watching it from a wheelchair would be better?”

Confusion swirled in Jax’s eyes until they widened. “Is this about Liam? Was he hurt while you two were together?”

Jill shook her head, and only when she tried to turn away so Jax couldn’t see the ache that came as heat and pressure behind her eyes did she realize his hand still rested on her shoulder.

“No. I didn’t wait around for that to happen. I asked him more than once to let it go before he got hurt, but my opinion didn’t matter.”

I didn’t matter.

“I’m sorry about that. I guess I can see it from both sides. He was the best in the game—”

“Until he wasn’t,” Jill said, cutting him off.

Jax nodded, glancing back at the arena.

“Yeah. But he got to see out his potential. He might not’ve had the outcome he was hoping for, but he played the game his way until he couldn’t anymore. There’s honor in that, I think.”

Jill snorted. “Yeah, honor in chasing a selfish dream that almost killed him.”

“I dunno. It was a risk that didn’t pay off, but at least he tried, right? I mean, I quit just as I was getting close. It’s the what-ifs that keep me up at night, and are probably why I do dumb stuff like try to break a mare in without doing that the past five years.”

“Maybe. But you quit to help your family. I’d say there’s more honor in that.”

“There’s more than one way to be there for those you love, Jill.”

Guilt rose up, hot and necrotic in her throat. “I know that.”

Jax let go of her shoulder, and though his words were riling her up, she missed his skin on hers. Not remotely convenient, but she wasn’t in the habit of lying to herself.

“Then you understand that what Liam did, what I wish I’d done, is the same as you leaving your family’s business to pursue a life that fulfills you?”

The mare neighed in the distance, breaking the silence as Jill let those words settle on her shoulders where Jax’s hand had just been.

“I don’t think they’re the same at all. I’m working to make a name for myself—”

“Like Liam was.” Jax pulled a play from her book and interrupted her.

“But my dream won’t put me in the hospital. My dream doesn’t hurt anyone who loves me.”

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