Page 53 of One Lucky Cowboy

“I know. I was an orphan yesterday and today I have a dad and an uncle.”

Heat and pressure built behind Jax’s eyes again.

At the risk of bothering the kid by inspecting every cell in his face, Jax shoved his hands into his pockets.

“How—why—Jesus. Sorry, I don’t even know where to start.”

Breaths came short and uneven. His fingers still tingled, but so did his tongue. It was like his whole body was having an allergic reaction, but his heart thumped wildly and not without joy.

And yet … he’d sorta known since he first got an up-close look at Ren. Maybe not that he was the boy’s father—holy shit, I’m a dad—but something. He’d known something.

It didn’t matter. He was this kid’s father despite all efforts to ensure he never had to say those words.

But Jax had loved Nora regardless. He could love this boy, too. If that was what Ren was even looking for.

He might just be looking for money or help. Jax would give that, too. He’d give anything to keep that half smile on his kid’s face.

“Your mom?” he managed. “How-how is she?”

Ren’s face lost its color; he dropped his gaze. Shit. Ren had said it was only him and his mom until—

“She died six months ago.”

The confirmation punched Jax in his gut. And six months ago? This kid had lost the only parent he’d ever known and hadn’t found Jax for half a year?

“How?”

“Car accident. She was hit by a drunk driver who’s in prison now. I went to his hearing, you know, when they dragged him off?” Ren’s eyes were moist, but he kept his composure. “He had a kid, too. Kinda sad two people’s families were ruined because he was an idiot.”

Jax’s throat constricted. This was a lot. Almost too much.

But he owed it to Ren to listen to his history. His story.

“And your grandparents?”

“My granddad that I’m named after is up in Austin, but his wife died before I was born.”

Jax remembered. It was how Nora and he had gotten so close—caring for and loving her through the hardest time in her life was his privilege—one her father hadn’t appreciated.

“And I guess you’ll tell me about the other grandparents.” Ren said it so matter-of-factly, but then, how could he possibly see how Jax’s world had flipped on itself and tumbled over like it’d been heaved off a cliff.

Nothing shattered, but nothing was the same anymore, either.

Stones tossed around in Jax’s chest before landing one by one in the pit of his stomach. One for his brother, who was an uncle. One for Maggie, who was an aunt before she became a mother. A few fell for his mother, who’d been a grandmother already but missed the joy of wearing that role with pride. Just that morning he’d caught his mom humming as she folded a baby blanket and added it to the ever-growing pile of clothes and gifts for Maggie and Bennett’s baby. She cherished the role she was about to undertake, and he wanted that for her so badly. The woman who gave everything was about to be given it all back in return.

And telling her about Ren would steal that away from her. Sure, she’d get to be a doting grandmother to Maggie and Bennett’s baby, but it would be stained by the past—Jax’s past—that would always be a liability, wouldn’t it?

Heat pricked his eyes.

Loss permeated the tender moment.

“Did you always know—” Jax started. But he couldn’t finish the sentence. It stuck like hot lead in his throat, choking him.

“About you?” Ren offered.

Jax nodded. Already his son had more courage than he did, and the kid was only fifteen.

“Not until after she died. My grandpa gave me a letter she must’ve written when I was a baby. It told me about you.”

---