Page 72 of Lock 'em Down

Something settles inside me at his words. I close my eyes, fold Leif into my arms, and give myself to him. He makes love to me slowly. And then again, quick and fast.

And I was right—it’s fan-fucking-tastic.

A week goes by when the first email pops up in my inbox.

The sender?

Levi Rousell.

“No fucking way,” I murmur to myself, opening the email.

Hey, Cami?—

I hope you don’t mind my emailing you. It took me a minute to track down your email—it was on a U of M alumni list—since you don’t have any socials. What’s up with that?

“You, you dumb fuck,” I mutter, narrowing my eyes at the screen. After that night in Spain, I deleted all my social media accounts. I knew how lucky I was to get through that phase of my life without being tagged in a hundred photos, fucked up out of my mind and dropping my face to lines of coke. It was a lesson I didn’t want to relearn.

But I digress. Shaking off my anger, I read the rest of Levi’s email.

Anyway, since we last saw each other, I’ve pulled my shit together. Rehab was intense but I’ve made a lot of amends with a lot of people. Not with you, though. For that, I’m sorry and I’d like the chance to set things right between us. I know that you don’t owe me anything but if you’ll gift me your time—or let me buy you a cup of coffee just to talk—it would mean a lot to me.

Tell your man he’s got a solid jab.

Levi

I sit in silence, rereading Levi’s email three times. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? He wants to meet up—to get closure—now?

I heave out a sigh and cross my arms over my chest.

Anger, frustration, and…curiosity swirl though me. I hate that Levi can still affect me, still mess with my head. I also can’t stand that a part of me wants to email him back. I want to know what he has to say.

I want closure too.

But why? Why does Levi matter at all when I have Leif? My husband. The best guy. One I can trust and confide in. One who makes me feel whole.

I ex out of the email and close my laptop.

I’m supposed to be confirming wedding plans and now, I can’t think straight. I can’t think at all because the annoying musician with the messy hair and broken eyes reached out to me. After all this time, he wants to talk. And say what?

It doesn’t matter!

Except it does.

I’ve spent years holding on to anger, on to fear, where Levi is concerned. Wouldn’t it be freeing to let it all go? To lay the shit between us to rest? To fully move on, without the shadow of him hovering over me?

My phone beeps with an incoming text.

I grin when I read Harper’s name. She’s a sweetheart and reached out to me to organize a lunch with her, Bea, Lola, and Maisy. Her text confirms the reservation she placed for today. Unfortunately, Beau Turner’s wife, Celine, is currently on location filming a movie. I wonder if she knows Jensen’s girlfriend, Bailey.

I push away from the kitchen island and pace around the space. In a short amount of time, my life has changed drastically. In that sense, it echoes my time spent in Spain.

Except this change has been positive, hopeful, and beautiful. I married a wonderful man and we’re planning our real wedding. I’ve made great friends. I love where I’m living and don’t mind my work because at the end of the day, I get to come home and sketch. Next week, I’m having a getaway to a quaint cottage town with Leif.

All in all, things are amazing.

I look at my laptop. So, why do I want to email Levi back?

Why does his note call to me?

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