Page 26 of Lock 'em Down

She gives me a small smile. “This job, this apartment, your move… It’s good for you. You’ll have more of a routine, a consistency—stability.”

I bite my bottom lip and nod. This is exactly what Mom wants for me. Even though she doesn’t say it, I know she thinks that once I’m settled down, she can relax and stop worrying.

Rhett and Jenna never gave her and Dad the hard times I did. While they move in linear lines, I’ve been zigzagging since day one.

Underage drinking in high school. Doing whatever Levi Rousell asked of me and believing everything he told me in the weeks before he entered rehab. Having to deal with the constant panic of those photos leaking on the internet.

For seeking out freedoms—little things like snow-tubing with my girlfriends at three AM and sleeping in late—that Mom likes to criticize and make me feel guilty for.

I don’t think she means to pick at my life as much as she harbors guilt for my mistakes with Levi. She doesn’t want a repeat occurrence. Her insistence on stability and routine, on accounting and safe jobs, has been her mantra for the past three years. Hell, for the entirety of my college career.

And I’ve tried to live up to it. I’ve tried to make her proud, even at the expense of myself.

I can’t deny Mom the peace of mind she’s after, but I’m also tired of tamping down my own hopes and desires.

Still, I give her the words she needs to hear. “Yeah. It will be good for me.”

Mom smiles brightly and glances at her watch. Surprise rolls over her expression. “Oh! It’s already three PM.”

“Okay.” I frown. Are we on a schedule I don’t know about?

Mom places a hand on her stomach. “We missed lunch.”

Man, her routine is stressful.

“Let’s go into the downtown and have a bite,” she says brightly. She smiles and for a moment, she looks like the mother from my adolescence. A lot calmer and more carefree. “We should celebrate—you’re all moved in.” She gestures around the space.

“Okay,” I laugh, moving to the front door to grab my sneakers.

“Oh, don’t you think you should shower first?” Mom asks. “We’re all sweaty and ugh, we should freshen up.”

I roll my eyes but nod. “I’ll rinse off quickly.”

Mom grins. “Great! I’ll take the guest bathroom. I think we should aim for four PM, okay?”

What is going on? “Okay.”

Mom grips the handle of her small suitcase and rolls it right into the bathroom.

My stomach grumbles as my phone buzzes again.

Tennessee: Cam, we need to have a conversation. We need to figure things out.

I groan. He’s right; I know he is. But, instead of replying, I do as Mom expects and enter the master bathroom. I flip on the showerhead, go through the motions, and freshen up for lunch.

Tomorrow, Mom flies home. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Leif.

“Did I tell you I have a friend in Knoxville?” Mom asks as we walk toward a restaurant she looked up and wants to try.

“Seriously?” I glance at her.

She smiles and links her arm with mine. “Yes! She’s a friend from St. Paul but she’s actually in town this weekend. Oh, we’ve been friends for years.”

“Let me guess—she’s meeting us for lunch?”

Mom flushes and dips her chin, confirming my hunch.

I snort. “Why didn’t you say anything? I would love to meet your friend.” It’s true too. I appreciate Mom coming to Knoxville with me to help me settle in. The least I can do is have lunch with her and a friend she wants to visit with.

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