Page 5 of The Very First Night

“What’s going on?” he whispers against the shell of my ear as I try to match my movements with the tempo of the song.

My eyes lock with Elijah’s across the dance floor as he holds Evelyn to him, the significance of the song seemingly only a concern of mine. Every symbol, every memory, every memento…I realize they all mean more to me than they ever did to him. How embarrassing it is to know that despite knowing all of that, I still ache for him like I did at twenty years old.

“Nothing,” I say, my voice cracking.

Tanner grasps the bunched fabric at the back of my dress tightly. “Katarina…”

“Please drop it. I’m fine, let it go.”

And to my surprise, he does. He’s never been the type to push a sensitive topic or make me uncomfortable. But I don’t miss the disappointment in his eyes as I shoot him down.

I count the seconds until the song is over, at which point I gracefully exit the dance floor. Well, perhaps not exactly graceful—more like a half-sprint to the bar, then out to the garden. I need air and a fresh glass of champagne.

As soon as the crisp air hits my skin, bumps spread across it like wildfire. It feels unseasonably chilly for July, but the lake effect can be a bitch, I guess.

“What are you doing out here?” A phantom voice travels from behind me. Unfortunately, I’d know that voice anywhere.

“Getting air.” I pull my champagne flute to my lips and take a long, drawn-out sip. This doesn’t seem to sit well with Elijah as he slides his fingers over mine, gently grasping the crystal stem and tugging the glass away from my mouth.

“I think you need a break, Kat.”

“And I think you need to leave me alone.” It comes out far snippier than I intend it to, but I don’t have the wherewithal to offer pleasantries right now.

He seems to get the hint, but his silence only lingers for a few seconds. “I didn’t plan for you to find out like that…”

I scoff, earning me a glare. “How exactly did you think I would find out, since you didn’t tell me?”

“Honestly? I assumed Jenna would have told you.”

A few years ago, that would have made sense, but Jenna and I don’t talk most days. She is still one of my best friends, but our relationship is not what it used to be. It’s comfortable, and while I would like to think she would have told me, she’s also been planning a wedding.

“When did it happen?” I glare down at the ground, the blades of misty grass sticking together with a glistening glow.

“About a month ago.”

“You’ve been engaged for a month and didn’t think to shoot me a text? You knew I’d be here.”

“Well, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Letting you know wasn’t at the top of my priorities.” Something in the look I give him causes him to double back. “That was shitty to say. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” I say as I reach toward him and yank my drink from his grasp, my glare not breaking, “it was.”

The sound of crickets chirping and mayflies humming fills the stale air between us, but we don’t move. The silence is all-consuming, but it’s only because nothing needs to be said. We know each other too well now. It’s not uncomfortable; it’s just…sad.

Everything it could have been, everything we once were, all swirling in the air in a breath-catching haze.

A biting shiver runs down my arms as a gust of wind picks up. Elijah tugs at his sleeves, the unerring gentleman I’ve always known even amidst this awkwardness.

“Don’t.” I hold up my hand and he stops. “I’m going to head up to my room. My head is starting to hurt. I’ll just text Jenna and let her know why I left.”

He nods silently and walks alongside me toward the French doors leading back into the hotel.

“Can I walk you up?” he mumbles.

That feels like playing with fire, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ache for more time with him. I know after tonight I probably won’t see him for a while, so his mere presence feels in short supply.

“If you must.”

We silently pass the reception hall and head toward the elevator, which stands open next to a long table filled with chocolates and flowers. The sound of my heels against the tile floor is loud in the silent space as the doors close behind us.

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