Page 83 of The Very First Night

My mouth grows dry and for the first time probably ever, I don’t know how to react. Negative, positive, jump his bones, be offended that he randomly decided to step back… I am genuinely perplexed, and, based on the look he’s giving me, he can tell.

“Where’s your head at, Kat?” he asks, the calm, domineering man from before nowhere in sight, replaced momentarily by my friend—the one who, no matter what, will always focus his energy on reassuring me and ensuring that whatever he’s doing is exactly what I want.

“I’m wondering why you stopped doing that.”

The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Well, there was no more ice cream on your neck.” I pin him with a blank expression and he instantly laughs. “What? Was that not the purpose? Your neck simply making a lovely way to eat ice cream?”

“I do not find you funny.”

He winks before stepping toward me with a smile. “I’m a little bit funny.”

Hastily abandoning his half-eaten bowl of rocky road on the kitchen counter, he grabs me and presses his lips against mine. The strong flavor of chocolate lingers on his tongue, sending waves of desire coursing through my body.

Without missing a beat, Tanner’s strong arms reach around me, pulling me close to his chest as he lifts me effortlessly. I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. His bare chest is peppered with hair, something that I didn’t have time to notice the first time we were together.

He turns us around to set me on the edge of the kitchen counter, but he doesn’t separate our bodies. As soon as my bare ass is flush with the cold countertop, Tanner is pressed firmly against my core. The sensation of his hard length pressed against me leaves me whimpering, wordlessly pleading. He begins kissing down my neck and his hands snake up my thighs to rest against the tiny string attaching my thong on the sides.

Before, it felt like we had all the time in the world—like we could spend hours tangled between the sheets. However, as I feel his cock strain against his sweatpants, pressed flush against the tiny scrap of fabric that is my underwear, my silent pleading shifts.

“Please, Tanner. I can’t take it anymore.”

He gasps slightly as he pulls his mouth away from my neck. “Damn it,” he says with a sigh as he rests his forehead against my shoulder.

“What?”

“I don’t have a condom down here. They’re up in my room.”

Fucking hell. While the idea of him inside me without a barrier is quite possibly the most erotic thought I can imagine, I also don’t want him to feel like I’m pushing something that he’s not comfortable with. I’ve never had sex without a condom, but I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen and my mom found out my boyfriend and I had sex in the back of his old Nissan and demanded she take me to the doctor, citing something about refusing to allow accidental pregnancy to derail my life.

But we’re friends. Friends who fuck, but friends nonetheless. We made the decision to do this under the pretense of keeping it cut-and-dry. Fulfilling a carnal need with someone you trust. I can’t imagine that, with that in mind, he’d be open to the intimacy of having sex without a condom.

Despite this, I find the words falling past my lips anyway. “I’m on the pill.”

He goes almost completely still and I wish desperately that I could see his face, but it’s obscured with his forehead still on my shoulder. Slowly, he pulls away and his eyes meet mine. “I’ve never had sex without a condom.”

There it is: the realization that maybe I’m too far in this; that we have drastically different expectations of what this thing between us is. I pushed too far.

“But I’m down to try it,” he adds. “I’m clean, I got tested a few months ago before we had sex the first time, after I brought up the idea. I didn’t want there to be any concern about that.”

“I got tested over the summer…and you know just as well as I do that I haven’t been with anyone else since.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else,” Tanner reassures me, and all I can think is…What?

We never discussed being exclusive. Hell, until tonight I genuinely thought it might have been a one-time thing. I try not to read too much into what that could mean, because it probably doesn’t mean anything, even if I want it to.

“Then it’s decided.” I laugh before looking at him with a stern expression. “Get inside me.”

Tanner doesn’t miss a beat. He peels my underwear down my thighs, reaches into his waistband, and pulls out his cock. It’s been months since the first time and I had almost convinced myself that maybe I’d imagined how big he was.

He moves himself against me and, as his thick, throbbing erection presses against my entrance, I gasp. The anticipation of being filled by him makes my heart race and my body quiver. I can feel the heat radiating off of him as he positions himself between my lips and I know without a doubt that his size was not just my imagination.

I can feel him tremble as he presses past my entrance, but as he pushes deeper into me, any semblance of awareness of my surroundings instantly leaves my mind. All I can think about—all I can feel—is him inside me. The way every nerve ending is set ablaze as he stretches me, the way his fingertips bite into my thigh as he squeezes tight in an effort to not lose control…all of it has me teetering on the edge faster than I ever thought humanly possible.

Once he’s buried to the hilt, I watch as his jaw clenches and he stops. “I’m sorry, I—I need a sec.” The realization that he’s just as affected as I am causes my pussy to clench, which causes him to groan loudly. “If you keep doing that, I am going to come inside you far earlier than either of us would like.”

“Sorry,” I say as my cheeks flush. I’m not, though—I’m not sorry, because the confirmation that I have that effect on him is enough to detonate me like a bomb.

He begins moving again, though tentatively. Circling my clit with his thumb, he increases his pace, but it’s still far more reserved than the last time. It’s as if he’s trying to savor it, like he’s trying to hold onto whatever sliver of control he has to make this last as long as possible.

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