Page 50 of The Very First Night

Elijah and I didn’t have issues until spring break, I think, but I don’t say it out loud.

“It’s okay.”

Jenna peers at me for a few beats before her eyes shift back to the textbook in front of her. “How did your exam go?”

I shrug. “I’m pretty sure I passed.”

I’m typically the type to study for weeks before a final, so the fact that I barely cracked a textbook says something—something I’m sure Jenna is reading on my face. However, I’m thankful she doesn’t say anything about it.

“Well, C’s get degrees, right?”

“Exactly.”

We continue to catch up for a few minutes before Jenna closes her textbook and hops off her bed. I wish her the best of luck on her last final before ducking into my own room.

When Jenna returns from her exam, I am already three hard seltzers deep into pre-gaming.

“How did it go?” I ask.

“Nailed it!” she says with a grin plastered across her lips. As quickly as the smile appears, though, it’s gone again, replaced by a disappointed expression. “You started without me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, walking over to my mini fridge to grab one of the long, skinny cans and holding it out to Jenna. “What time do you want to go down?” I ask.

Jenna shrugs before popping the tab on her can. “I don’t really care about the opener, but it could be smart to go early so we can get a good spot.”

As I stumble out of our dorm building with Jenna at my side, the world starts to swirl and my steps become unsteady. I can feel the warmth of alcohol spreading through my body, but I try to brush it off as just a slight buzz. However, as we start walking toward the concert, my gut starts churning and I realize the effects of drinking on an empty stomach are hitting me hard.

“Are you okay?” Jenna asks, genuine concern in her voice.

“Yeah, for sure.” I lift my hand to my mouth as I swallow, quelling the unease in my stomach for the time being.

When we approach the crowded concert grounds, Jenna grabs my arm and leads me toward a brightly lit food truck. She glances at me with concern, knowing I’ve had a few too many drinks already. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” she says.

Soon I have a corn dog in hand with a healthy slathering of ketchup, and I scarf it down in fewer bites than should be physically possible. Thankfully, eating instantly seems to help the discomfort in my stomach and within twenty minutes I feel slightly more alert.

“The guys are here!” Jenna peps up, darting forward and colliding with Marcus, who wraps his arms around her tight.

As I watch them from across the field, I can’t help but feel a pang of envy. Their fingers intertwined, their eyes locked in a deep gaze, and their smiles genuine and full of love. Even at our best, Elijah and I have never been like that, so effortlessly entranced by one another.

I want that.

Brendan ambles toward me, his hands tucked into the pockets of his worn jeans. Tanner follows closely behind, holding a bottle of beer in one hand and waving with the other.

“Hey,” they say in unison as they reach me.

“Hey,” I reply, exhaling deeply.

I can’t help but notice that Elijah isn’t with them. He said he was coming, so why isn’t he here?

Something in Tanner’s expression tells me he’s about to say something that I don’t want to hear. This isn’t just Elijah not showing up for the concert—this is him not saying goodbye before he leaves for the summer.

My heart races as hordes of people start crowding around me. My palms grow clammy, and the smell of alcohol on my own breath only intensifies my anxiety. The ground beneath me seems to sway with each passing second, and I struggle to catch my breath as a wave of panic washes over me.

“Hey—”

A calming voice cuts through the noise, but I can’t seem to latch onto it.

As the crowd gathers in front of the stage, I frantically search for him. My heart races and my hands shake as I realize he isn’t here. The opening band starts to play and I feel a wave of panic wash over me—he promised he would be here.

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