Page 48 of The Very First Night

“No… Why would you think that?”

Jenna shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe Elijah figured out that Tanner has been pining after you all year. I don’t know.”

“He hasn’t been pining. We’re friends. He’s a good friend—that’s it.”

Rolling her eyes, Jenna again glances at Tanner, who is now walking to the counter to grab his food. “Tanner!” she yells, waving her hand.

He walks over to us with his tray in his hands. “Hey guys,” he says with a grin. I don’t miss the way his gaze pauses on me before he turns his attention to Jenna. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just thought you might want to sit with us.”

I think about what Jenna said. Tanner has not been pining after me. Sure, I knew he was interested when we met, but once I told him I wasn’t interested, he let it go. He’s a great friend and that’s what I need right now. I don’t need another man in my life toying with my emotions.

Tanner sits down next to me. If he notices that my eyes are puffy and that I’ve been wearing this sweatshirt for three days, he doesn’t mention it. He simply shoots me a grin before saying, “You look pretty,” without an inkling of sarcasm in his words.

I’ll admit, I’m a bit taken aback by his compliment, mostly because I know it couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite this, I smile and say, “Thank you.”

Tanner nods before turning back to look at Jenna. “Do you by chance have the notes from Global Architectural History from Tuesday? I think I might be going crazy because I can’t find the file on my laptop.”

“Yeah, I can email it to you.”

A laugh crawls up my throat for the first time in days. “Why are you taking Global Architectural History?” I ask Jenna.

She shrugs. “It counts toward my fine arts requirement and I figured Marcus could help me with it.”

“I guess that makes sense,” I respond before sticking my fork into my hash browns and lifting it to my lips.

“So, what’s your excuse for taking Survey of Rock Music History last semester?” Tanner raises a brow.

A grin crests on my lips. I set my fork down. “It sounded fun.”

“Exactly.”

I roll my eyes and reach for my fork again, this time taking a bite and surprisingly not feeling like it’s the most disgusting thing on the planet.

The rest of our meal goes by in a significantly less depressing manner. We discuss finals coming up, Flash Fest next weekend, and how the semester seems to be getting away from all of us.

After spring break in Myrtle Beach—if you’d even call it that since we were there for less than a day—the entire group has been rather quiet. While it was beyond traumatizing for me, I know that having Elijah’s parents show up as mad as they were shook everyone up a little bit. I just wish it hadn’t shaken Elijah to the point of barely talking to me.

It’s not like I did anything. We were both there, yet it’s like he’s punishing me for it.

Every time I try to see him, he has an excuse, and that’s only when he responds. Most of my texts go unanswered these days, but the conversations that we do have leave me unable to let go.

My stomach feels way better now that I’ve eaten, my now-empty plate a welcome reminder that not everything is bad all the time. Except for the bacon—that was rubbery as sin.

“Here,” Tanner says. He grabs my tray and walks it over to the trash can.

Jenna stares at me.

I pin her with a glare. “No.”

“Why not?” she asks.

“Because I’m with Elijah.”

“Are you, though?” She winces as her words come out, like she didn’t intend to say it. As if her thoughts just tumble out without preamble. And yet…she’s got a point.

I’ve spent so much of this past school year trying desperately to make things work with Elijah, but now I realize that we’ve never actually had a conversation about what we are. I mean, we were together most days for a long time, but recently it almost feels like he is expecting it to just fade away. You don’t ghost a real relationship, so where does that leave us?

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