Page 47 of The Very First Night

He can’t say that this didn’t ruin everything…because it did.

TWENTY-TWO

KAT

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jenna asks across the table as we sit in the corner of Rosie’s.

She’s been prying about spring break since we returned to campus, and while I did tell her that Elijah’s parents found me in bed with him, I didn’t elaborate about how that went. I’m a bit surprised she didn’t hear them yelling, but regardless, I’d rather not relive it by telling her.

Well, that and even I know Elijah’s response to the situation doesn’t make him look good.

When did I become this person? Hiding stuff to maintain his reputation; to ensure our shared friends still respect him. I’m so mad at him right now, but I have to hide it because I don’t want Jenna to resent him. I want this to work—this has to work.

If it doesn’t work, then what was all of this for? If this doesn’t work out, I’m stuck floundering without a clue as to how I got here and with nothing to show for it. I’m aware I went back in time, but with every passing day, I remember that fact less and less. If I don’t make this work, I’m repeating it all for nothing.

I just wish Elijah felt the same way. Based on how he’s been acting the past three weeks, I’m getting less and less optimistic.

At one point, we saw each other at least a few times a week, but I’ve only seen him twice since our return from South Carolina. And even then…it was weird.

“Nothing to tell,” I reiterate to Jenna. “I told you, they found me in bed with him.” I stir my pop with my straw, averting my gaze even as she tries to catch my eye.

“Yes…” Jenna snaps her fingers in front of my face in an attempt to grab my attention. I look at her, but it’s at best a glare. “You told me they found you naked. But that’s embarrassing—it doesn’t explain how you’ve been since we got back. I’m worried about you. Have you even been going to class?”

I’ll be honest, I’ve spent most days in bed until at least one in the afternoon. She’s not too far off about me missing classes, but all of my professors have been more than accommodating—mostly because I lied about a family emergency. I do feel bad about that, especially after Professor Augusta opened up about how hard it was for him when his grandmother passed.

“Yes, I’ve been going to class.” The lie rolls off my tongue, but I know Jenna doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. She’s gone from spending every night at Marcus’s to almost always coming home before bed. I’d like to think it’s because she just wants to hang out, but I know it’s because she’s worried.

Luckily, she doesn’t try to push me about the obvious lie. “Have you and Elijah talked?” she asks.

“Here and there,” I say as I push my hash browns around on my plate. Once my favorite breakfast side dish, they now just sicken me.

I don’t get it. My high school boyfriend broke up with me after two years and I barely batted an eye, but Elijah avoids me for a couple of weeks and I’m in full meltdown mode.

“Kat.”

I look up. “What?”

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Of course I know that.”

“Then why aren’t you?” she demands, her eyes locked on mine in a way that makes it nearly impossible to look away. “I’m worried about you.”

Guilt washes over me. “I’m sorry I’ve been worrying you. It’s not that I don’t feel like I can talk to you, I just haven’t wanted to talk.” The pain that blooms in her expression doesn’t go unnoticed and my stomach knots. “I promise if I need to talk, I’ll talk to you. Okay?”

She nods before looking away. My eyes follow her gaze to find Tanner over at the kiosk, ordering food. He doesn’t seem to notice us as he inspects the menu, the weekly specials offering plenty to choose from.

I look down at my food, pushing it around the plate. I don’t have the energy to be pleasant, even with Tanner.

“Did this fight between you and Elijah have anything to do with Tanner?” Jenna asks, noticing me staring.

While I wouldn’t necessarily call it a fight, I understand why she would deduce that.

Or is it a fight?

He won’t return my texts; he avoids conversation when he can…did we get into a fight and I just didn’t realize it?

If anyone has a right to be mad right now, it’s me, and yet he still manages to make me feel like I messed up.

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