Page 107 of The Very First Night

As we approach the grand and vibrant gates of the Columbus Zoo, my heart races with anticipation. I watch as Kat’s face transforms into one of pure joy, her eyes widening in childlike wonder as she takes in the first of many extravagant Christmas light displays that decorate the front of the park. The air is filled with an electric buzz, as if every twinkling bulb holds its own special magic waiting to be discovered. I feel like a child again, caught up in the magic of the holiday season.

Her delicate fingertips drum against the warmth of my palm, nestled within the safety of my gloved hand. Despite the cold, she stubbornly refuses to fasten the top of her mittens, leaving her fingertips exposed to the crisp air.

“It ruins the look,” she says when I remind her that her mittens have that additional pocket of fabric for a reason.

I chuckle. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Despite an irritatingly disengaged professor, I managed to get through finals without having a nervous breakdown. It’s hard to consider it a true success when the person grading your work is only there because of tenure, completely disconnected from the real world. But I somehow managed to get an eighty-seven in his class, so I’m more than happy to leave Professor Stanton in the past and look forward to graduation in only a few short months.

We approach the penguin exhibit, our breaths turning into small clouds in the crisp winter air. I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement as we pass other exhibits with animals huddling indoors for the season. But we lucked out—the penguins are still here, waddling around and sliding on the ice. The zoo is embellished with beautiful Christmas lights, but nothing compares to watching these incredible creatures in their natural habitats. I could spend hours here, mesmerized by their antics and playful interactions.

“That one kind of looks like the one you drew in your sketchbook.” Kat points toward a small penguin near the back of the enclosure, a bit more isolated than the rest of the animals.

“They all pretty much look like that drawing.”

Kat has spent an exorbitant amount of time recently going through my old sketchbooks, thanks to my mother, who so kindly showed her some of my older ones from middle school when Kat was over for Thanksgiving.

Thanks, Mom.

“Yeah, but that one has the same black spot on his belly.”

“Well, yeah, it is him. Didn’t you know? I talk to penguins.” I wink, causing her to smack me in the arm.

As snowflakes start to fall, I wrap my fingers tighter around Kat’s icy hand and we stand side by side, entranced by the wildlife as a flurry of activity unfolds before our eyes. The black and white birds move in unison, their feathers glistening in the cold winter air. With a whoosh and a splash, they dive into the icy water, their streamlined bodies disappearing beneath the surface before gracefully emerging.

Kat’s chin rests softly on my arm as she gazes up at me with her stunning piercing blue eyes. Her lips curl into a small smile as she mumbles, “Thanks for this.”

I can’t help but grin back down at her and ask, “For what?”

“All of this,” Kat says, flailing her free hand around.

“Believe it or not, sweetheart, despite the rumors, I did not build the Columbus Zoo.”

She swats my arm again, but her smile doesn’t leave her lips. “Be serious for a second.”

“It’s honestly nothing.”

She lets out a sigh, her shoulders rising and falling in a familiar gesture that always tugs at my heart. I catch a whiff of vanilla from her freshly washed hair as a gust of wind rushes by us. My grip tightens on her hand, feeling the chill of her skin against mine despite my thick gloves. I guide her toward the entrance of the outdoor elephant exhibit, trying to draw her attention away from whatever thoughts just crossed her mind.

My hands tremble against the blistering cold as I reach for her other hand, gently pulling both into my grasp. I tilt her chin up, softly coaxing her to meet my gaze.

“What?” she laughs, clearly shrugging off the moment.

“You don’t have to thank me for the bare minimum, Kat.”

“I wasn’t.” She looks around she clears her throat before her eyes land on mine again. “You didn’t have to spend tonight with me—we literally just got home for winter break and you haven’t seen your parents in weeks.”

“Taking you to the zoo lights tonight was my mom’s idea.”

“Still.” Kat’s shoulders rise and fall in a dismissive shrug, her attempt to downplay her anxiety. But I can see right through her facade and want no part in allowing it to plague her for a moment longer.

“Prioritizing you will never be an inconvenience for me. I completely get what got you thinking that way, but believe me when I say that will never be me. There is nothing that matters more to me than spending time with you. I’ve gotten to spend twenty-two years with my family—they’re fine with waiting until tomorrow.”

“But—”

“Sweetheart. I love you; my family loves you. Me spending time with you tonight is not an inconvenience. Okay? Say it, please. Spending time with you is never an inconvenience.”

“Spending time with me is never an inconvenience.”