Page 32 of Born To Be My Baby

He grinned. "On the other side of your face, however, you're your normal color."

He took up his spot on her bed next to her hip.

She shrugged her shoulder. "Did you hear anything about Mina at all, Sean?"

"No, nothing since last night. They did let me go in for twenty minutes to see her. You were sleeping. I wasn't allowed to touch her. She's connected to machines and wires. They only let me speak to her. Let her know I was there. Her heartbeat increased a little as I spoke to her. They said, that's a good sign. She can likely hear me or sense me. But other than that, I haven't heard anything. I was hoping for doctors to come in first thing this morning."

He stared into her eyes. They were slightly bloodshot this morning, but no less beautiful than they'd always been. He'd fallen for her years ago and one of his favorite things to do was stare into her eyes. He could see her in there. Her soul, her emotion. Plus, they were a beautiful color surrounded by thick, dark lashes.

She swallowed. "Oh, Sean, what a mess. What a terrible mess."

"Yep, it sure is, honey." He picked up her left hand and held it in his. "But if anything, it's made me realize some things that I thought were important aren't. And some things that I thought weren't as important, all my adult life as I was chasing this music dream, are. I told myself family wasn't important. It didn't matter that I didn't have a family. It didn't matter that I didn't have kids. I was living my dream. And, Oh, my God, how selfish that is or was. I know now what is important."

Gloria swallowed. "But you didn't know about Mina, so you can't blame yourself for those thoughts."

He shook his head. "I know, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just justified my lack of family and settling down as being just fine. I had thought about it over the years. I'd wanted kids and a family, but I wanted fame more. And isn't that sad? That's not what's important, Gloria. How could I have ever thought that was more important than anything else? Than you? How could I have ever thought that? I'm just sick that I was so shallow to think that it was better to let you go." He sniffed. He sucked in a deep breath to calm himself.

He ran his hand down his face. He turned and stared out the window. His vision blurred as his eyes filled with tears. One slipped out and fell on his cheek. He angrily brushed it away and turned back to her.

"There's nothing more important to me right now than Mina and you."

"Sean," her lips quivered. "We don't know each other anymore. You can't say that I'm more important than your music."

"Here's what I know, Gloria." He shifted slightly to get comfortable. "Here's what I know." He inhaled deeply. "I know that we made a daughter, and I have her now. I know about her now. I know that you've done a great job raising her. She's smart. She's beautiful. She's resourceful. And now that I know about her, I will do everything in my power to be with her, to know her better, to spend time to be a father, to be a family member to her. And what I also know is that I would like you to be part of that, also. I've never fallen in love with anyone but you, Gloria. All these years, I mean, I've had women, you know that. It's the rock and roll rite of passage, I guess. It was all empty and meant nothing to me other than blowing off steam."

She swallowed, closed her eyes for a moment. When her eyes opened again, he saw her jaw tighten. "You can't be saying that you want to give up your music."

"No. No, I'm not saying that at all. No. We're finally reaching the success that we've all dreamed of. But I also know I can still achieve that success and be a family man. It might mean that we have periods of time when we're apart because I'm on the road, or you can come with me, or Mina can come with me. You can meet me in places when we go on tour, however we have to figure it out, we'll figure it out. But what it means is I have a family, and I want to be part of that family. I want my family to know me. I want us to spend holidays together. And when Mina has babies one day, I want those grandchildren in my life. That's what I mean. Is it going to be easy? Fuck no, it's not going to be easy. I mean, we've got so much to work on, you and me. But I do know there's nothing more important."

He watched her throat move as she swallowed. A tear rolled down her cheek and she just let it. She inhaled slowly, and he watched her face. She'd always been one to show her emotions to him. She never held back. That was one of the things he'd fallen in love with. She was honest and true. Until she wasn’t.

The door opened, and a nurse entered the room.

"Good morning, I'm here to take your catheter out."

He squeezed her hand. "That's my cue to step outside. I'll be back when you're all finished." He leaned toward her and kissed her lips softly. Then, without a word, he stood and left the room.

25

The catheter was removed, and she was now shuffling across the floor in her gorgeous hospital gown with a pair of disposable slippers on her feet. Goodness, things had changed in just a day!

Her knees shook, but she wasn't dizzy, which her nurse said was great. She used the toilet, washed her hands, and screwed up the courage to look in the mirror.

Her eyes instantly watered and her nose tingled when she took in the sight before her. For the past twenty-plus years, her life was filled with looking good for the camera. Viewers relentlessly criticized every hair out of place. If they didn't like her lipstick color, she heard about it. Had she gained weight? Viewers would ask her if she needed diet tips because she looked fat yesterday. It was hard on her at first. Then it was Brody who told her to have someone else field her emails, so she didn't have to read that vitriolic shit every day. It made her paranoid and self-centered. She actually chuckled as she stared at herself. Wouldn't they love to see her now?

She straightened up and let out a breath to stem the muscle pain that caused. Opening the bathroom door, she slid her feet along the floor so she didn't fall. The nurse in her room hustled to her. "I'm supposed to help you."

"I'm fine. Is Sean outside?"

"After I make sure you're safely in bed, I'll check."

She gritted her teeth slightly, but followed the rules.

She sat in her bed. "I'd like to sit like this with my legs hanging over for a few minutes, please."

"Are you sure you aren't dizzy?"

"I'm positive."

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