Page 59 of The Love Position

‘Yes, and also one hundred per cent not.’

‘What do you mean?’

He let out a heavy sigh. ‘Sophia, I don’t know if it was the same for you, but what I felt was not peaceful or chaste. It was sexual bliss, as if every cell in my body was orgasming, over and over again.’

Her pale cheeks flushed red.

‘You won’t learn about this on the course, and the Devanandara organisation is totally against this form of yoga. But it’s real, and it happened to us.’

Sophia was silent for a moment, then asked the one question he hoped she wouldn’t.

‘Why? Why did it happen to us?’

Resisting the urge to move even further away from her, he cleared his throat.

‘The very first time we met, I was strongly attracted to you, and this attraction only grew the more time I spent in your company. I’ve never had this prob—this situation occur since I took my vow, and it has been deeply unsettling.’

Apart from the movement of her breath, Sophia appeared frozen, her liquid eyes holding his without blinking.

‘When we were on the decking, it was the most incredible experience of my life, but I knew it wasn’t what you were there for, so I shut it down. I was your teacher and yet I’d allowed it to happen. Everything about that moment freaked me out. Then I panicked about seeing you again and ran away to India. I had no idea my guru would bring us to this ashram, nor that I would find you here. I’ve been avoiding you because the feelings I have for you are overwhelming and…’

He stopped talking. He didn’t want to add ‘and I don’t want to break my vow’, because that would have arrogantly implied that Sophia would have wanted to break it with him.

She swallowed. ‘Why?’

‘Why what?’

‘Why on earth do you like me?’

The shock at her question stopped all thoughts in their tracks. Sophia appeared genuinely confused. Had her ex made her think so little of herself that she didn’t see what was self-evident?

‘Because you’re the loveliest person I’ve ever met,’ he said, truth spilling out of him as if desperate to escape the prison of his mind. ‘You’re sweet, kind, clever, caring, resourceful, honest, and determined. You’re also utterly beautiful, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you with every breath.’

‘Me?’ Her voice was filled with disbelief.

Isaac wanted nothing more than to reach for Sophia and demonstrate exactly how much he desired her, but he forced himself to remain still.

‘Yes, you. And only you.’

She pressed her palms against her reddened cheeks as if to cool them down.

‘But you don’t want to, er, do anything about it,’ she said hesitantly. ‘Because of your vow.’

His body was utterly paralysed. In that moment, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he did want to do something about it. He wanted to do everything.

But instead, he willed his head to nod.

‘Does your guru know how you feel?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then why does he want you to spend time with me?’

Isaac huffed. ‘He believes the more I’m in your company, the less I’ll feel for you. That my attraction is an ignorant illusion and will soon disappear.’

‘And do you agree with him?’

‘No.’

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