Page 51 of The Love Position

‘Do you think you’ll make a move?’ Sophia whispered.

‘Nah. I’m not getting in line to beg for a bone. These motherfuckers can come to me if they want a taste of Jessica juice.’

Anisha cleared her throat loudly, throwing daggers their way.

Jessica waved back.

‘Okay everyone, settle down,’ Anisha began. ‘For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Anisha and I head up the admin team for Swami Saraswati who runs Tranquillity Island Ashram. This is my boyfriend, Mohan, who is the main asana teacher for the TTC. I’m going to start by making sure everyone’s here.’

Lifting a clipboard, she read out a list of names, placing a tick against each one as people acknowledged their presence.

‘Good,’ she said as she finished. ‘There will be a roll call at the beginning and end of each activity, including morning and evening Satsang. Attendance is mandatory, and failure to comply will mean you are removed from the ashram.’

A murmur went around the room.

‘But what if we’re sick?’ Jessica asked.

Anisha gazed coldly at her. ‘Attendance is non-negotiable. If anyone is unable to leave their beds, then someone must summon either myself or Mohan to assess the situation. In order to get the most from your course and the ashram experience, participation in all activities is required.’

Getting to her feet, Anisha went to the pile of clothes and began handing out bundles to each person.

Mohan followed, giving everyone a large spiral-bound manual with an orange cover and the logo for the Devanandara organisation on the front.

‘Your manual has your name on it,’ Anisha said. ‘If you lose it, there is a fifty-dollar replacement fee. These are your uniforms and must be worn at all times.’

Sophia held up a pair of baggy white trousers and an oversized orange t-shirt with the same logo as on the front of the manual.

‘You have two outfits and they must be kept pristine. There are laundry facilities beside the main tent area, and tokens for the machines can be bought from the shop. If your uniform is lost or damaged, then you can buy new ones. T-shirts are thirty dollars and trousers are forty.’

‘Whatta they made of?’ Jessica grumbled under her breath. ‘Silk?’

Sophia smothered her smile and nudged her new friend, inclining her head towards their roommates. The four women were looking at the clothes with expressions of utter disdain, as if they’d been asked to wear sackcloth and ashes.

Jessica snorted loudly, then coughed to cover it up.

‘Inside your manual,’ Anisha continued, ‘is the timetable for the day. Wake-up is at five thirty, followed by morning Satsang at six, then your first asana class of the day at eight o’clock. Breakfast is at ten, followed by two hours of karma yoga. At one p.m. you have a chanting or a Bhagavad Gita class, then your main lecture, which runs until three forty-five. At four you have your second asana class, followed by dinner at six, then evening Satsang at eight o’clock.’

Sophia was exhausted just thinking about it.

‘Each day you’re expected to produce a summary of the main lecture and hand it in the following day to be marked. You have one day off each week when you’re allowed to leave the island, however attendance at morning and evening Satsang is still mandatory.’

‘Four trail bars to last six days,’ Jessica murmured. ‘I’m gonna die.’

‘I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you of the main ashram rules you agreed to when you completed your online booking, as well as again when you arrived at the ashram. No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no meat, no fish, no eggs, no caffeine, no chocolate, no swearing, no sex, no mobile phones. There—’

‘What’s the wi-fi password?’ Jessica interrupted.

‘That is for staff use only,’ Anisha replied. ‘If anyone would like to see the full ashram rules, we have a book of them in reception.’

‘You’ve got a freaking book?’

There were a few titters.

Anisha glared at Jessica. ‘The ashram is a harmonious and tranquil environment—’

‘Clearly.’

‘That is kept so by adherence to the rules,’ Anisha continued, her voice rising. ‘Anyone not willing to follow them is free to leave at any time.’

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